Young Writers Society

A painting has been made,
But this story has a twist.
You see, the brush is a blade,
and the canvas, her wrist.

Its nice to see that you have a taste for irony. Some writers spend their entire lives trying to create irony and never achieve it. This is so short and so to the point that it seemed effortless. That's a fantastic thing, to seem effortless. After all, there is only so far one can fake it before the writing becomes more black and white than actual feeling and emotion.

Now, as it goes, I didn't take this as poetry. It had imagery in the sense that you did compare to very different images and it told a story so far beyond the four lines it was written in. You did well in that sense, and yet, when we look at this, do we see poetry?

I see a story. Flash fiction. The only reason this could be defined as poetry is because it has some form of poetic structure which is, quite honestly, unnecessary in the scheme of things. The effect was that this told some form of a story, and I think it would have been more effectual if it was.

In any case, it amused me, in a morbid way.

~Walker

Oooh....I love it. Simple, cute, perfect--and, of course, deliciously morbid. Actually, this isn't much of a review in that I just like this piece a lot. I like that it's short, you've done an excellent job with the rhyming. I don't agree with Walker about the poem vs. story thing. I like this just the way it is, and I think that it works wonderfully well as this tiny little rhyming morsel.

There are no issues as far as I can see with rhythm, rhyme, or punctuation. Oh, wait. One thing I don't like (because there has to be something for this to be a review, you see) is the title. I don't think it really encapsulates this poem, the quirkiness, or even really describes your theme. But of course, that's your choice as the author. Anyways, I like all the rest of it, so really nice work on this.

-sarebear

Michaeld,

Haha. This made me laugh inappropriately. Kudos xD It's an enjoyable read - and I can see what Dreamwalker meant with the flash fiction resemblance. As it is, there's really not much to review, so it's flawless in that sense (except perhaps the title, so I second what Sarebear said) This is enjoyable. It's clever. But it's under dramatic poetry, so there's a key piece missing. If this was labeled under "other poetry" I can leave it be. But there's a set-up here about a painting related to cutting, and nothing more.

The twist is clever. Don't get me wrong. Part of its appeal is the straight forward nature and brevity of the piece, however I cannot say I experienced anything beyond that. I'd like to know who, I'd like to know how, I'd like to know why - if you can answer all of this, you would capture the essence of what dramatic poetry is meant to do.

Best of luck and keep writing!

~ As always, Audy

I liked this. It was funny. Short and ironic. Very to the point, but yet it made me wanted to see more. You should do something like this again, with more detail of course.

Hi Michael! Sorry it took me so long to get around to reviewing your new(ish) stuff. Stupid finals. -_-'
Anyhow, here's what I think of the poem:
I like this a lot. Other reviewers said that they wished it was longer and more detailed, but I disagree. I think that the shortness leaves room for the imagination to wander and create a story of its own. I also don't see how the others felt like laughing after reading this poem. This is odd, coming from me, because I usually laugh at the strangest things. XD Not at this though; I really felt for the girl in this peice.
All in all, great job and keep up the good work! Now on to review your next poem!