Young Writers Society

Framed and faced,
Blamed and braced,
I allow them to call me a holy disgrace.

I try and I fail,
I fail and I cry,
I sit in the shadows and ask myself 'Why?'

Shattered and scarred,
Tattered and tarred,
I question myself at my own disregard.

For years, I have wondered,
I wander in youth,
Am I a real person, or an illusion of truth?

Hey! I can see you're new here so pleasentries first! I'm Amelia! It's great to be able to review your work today. I must say that your word-choice, grammar, and spelling are spot on. No errors there! I liked the pace of your poem. You presented your ideas methodically and the structure was good. If not for the title I wouldn't have known this to be about an alter ego. The poem was rather crypic in message, and that is my only critisism. Other than that, a brilliant piece of work! Keep writing!

Hi Shauna Jay,

Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here.

This flows beautifully. I love the use of short sentences-they gave the poem a great immediacy which really drew me in. The rhyme pattern is very effective.

My only small suggestions are giving "Tarred" a lower-case 't', as it doesn't really need a capital. I also would alter the second last line to read "And wandered in youth" as I think it flows a little better, and cut the final "an" so it fits the rhythm of the piece more precisely.

A pleasure to read overall.

I hope this helps. Feel free to p.m me if you have any questions.

Jas

Hey thanks for all the views, if you wouldn't mind leaving a comment or review that would be great and I will return the favour if you want me to check out your work and leave a review just post me the link.