Young Writers Society

<Strong> Grace</strong

Grace me with your presence for now and ever more
Grace me with you beauty and in return I shall adore
Grace me with your heart this time, in this gift
I shall give you mine.
Grace me with your body and grave me with your mind
And I shall put mine on the line
Grace me with all of these for eternity and all its time
Grace me with these thing s my love,
And I shall surely call you mine



<strong>If you love me</strong>

If you love me, you shall forgive the sins that I’ve done
If you love me dearest ones forgive me before I’ve begun
If you love me trust me with your life and death
And for you I shall give my best
If you love me, don’t ignore, I will surely show you more.
If you love me, take my hand beyond the stars my only plan
If you love me tell me so tell me it before you go

If you love me for eternity and time read these simple melodies;
For they are more than meets the eye.


<strong>Beauty… is only skin deep </strong>
Beauty is only skin deep that is what they say.
However, if you ask me I shall point out a different way.
Beauty… is only skin deep, ask me
and you shall find beauty also lies with the body and the mind
Beaty is only skin deep, vanity is really cheep
Looking wont take that much time look for it and you will find
Heart and mind will take some time they are why I wrote this rhyme.

I really like all of the poems. I don't know how to really review them, there's alot to say. So i'll do a list of short points...
-Repetition, love it.
-They are all very sweet, especially the first one..
-"Beauty... is only skin deep" has a wonderful meaning to it.
-I have to point out that there is a mistake..sorry/:
----"Beaty is only skin deep, vanity is really cheep"
-If I may, I would recommend playing with the formatting on the last one as well.
- Very powerful ending on "If you love me"
-Sorry, another error: "...these thing s my..." fix the s..
-I really like how they are short poems. They are very to the point, not wasting time to get of track..(does that make sense?)

All in all, I really like all three of them. I looked for about an hour for something interesting enough to review, so be.. um honored? proud? sure. Very Good.

--Mikayla

Hey Chamber! Dogs here for your review, i really loved this piece! You took an overused topic and turned it into something new, putting a different spin on the ball which has a great effect on the reader. Great originality!!!! Also you managed use some of the same lines over and over again without making it sound repetative or making that line sound overused. When I was reading this piece I was paying attention to the repition but rather what your were going to say in the next line and how you were going to tie this all togeather. You tied it togeather perfectly! I really loved this! But firstly i have some quick grammatical errors

"If you love me trust me with your life and death
And for you i Shall give my best"

i think there should be a comma after death. Also after alot of your lines you don't have any piriods where they should be which, im my opinion, i think you should add those in because you have piriods in some places. So either have no piriods at the end or all periods at the end in the kind of style of poem is my suggestion. Also, i don't think you should capptalize the "And" in the last line of the first stanza and the 4th line of the second stanza. You do the "and" non captialized in the last stanza so you should either apply it to all aspects or none of them

I really enjoyed this piece and this different style. Keep up the good work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


TuckEr EllsworTh