Young Writers Society

It's Alright

I told you I hate you
You told me you cared
I said I can't stand you
You said you'd always be there
I told you to leave
You told me to stay
I screamed get out!
You screamed no way!
I asked why you love me
You said I just do
I said I don't believe you
You said that it's true
I asked why you said that
You said 'cause you loved me too
I turned my back
You held me tight
I broke down in your arms
You said it's alright

Your metronomical device was very good. The rhythm was perfect. The subject matter, however, is a different story. Try to be a little more original, as this reminded me of a Kelly Clarkson song.

Oh okay. Thank you

I'm not sure I one hundred percent agree with Incan. True, this is a like hackneyed subject, but the format is over done as well. How many times have you seen a poem that goes back and forth, starting with the same words over and over? I know it's supposed to put more emphasis on the rest of the words, but to me it just gets boring. Your rhymimg (amazingly) was decent, (how many times have I attacked forced rhyming on this site so far?) but the subject and the format are just cliche.

I appreciate your feedback. Thank you!

I've never read anything by you before. It was...interesting.

Reminded of something Britney Spears or Mandy Moore would sing when I actually used to listened to them way back in the day. And that irritated me a little. But those who like that kind of music will most likely appreciate this poem.