Young Writers Society

All right, I enjoy love poems mostly, but I don't agree with these American idea's of love. Butterflies and rainbows? That's an elementary school crush, not true love. Real love is a nail that drives into your skull and forces the thoughts of that ONE person deep into your brain whether you want it or not. Love is when you can't breath, your blood burns, and you want them so badly it's a physical ache till you cry. Read Spanish poetry sometime. You'll see what I mean. Well, I have a series of three love poems, kind of a story in themselves, between thinking it "Might Be Love" to when it turns into "Truely Love" then the "Minutes After" the first time you're WITH them. Hope you like!

Could Be Love

Melt the ice
meet me right
slow the heart
raise your eyes
feel my strength
Heal the scars
glaze the real
wounds imagined
blind the pleasure
to your pain
Would you?
release the hurt
embrace the shadows
let me bend the truth
to hold paradise
far from touching
the fantasy, the illusion
that is now, hatred

Truely Love

Fallen in love with what could be
Full moon fire, rescue me
From this face I have not seen
Only words on a glowing screen
A darkling mongrel, rabid dog
Bloodshot, peering from the fog.

Round my neck the chain chokes tight
Lunging forward, knuckles white
Black crouching beast with nostrils flared
Innocence with pale flesh bared
Faltering I lose my grip
And my dark heart gives me the slip
Ravenous beast, the earth I roam
Dragging this lifeless victim home

You are everything that exists
Beyond, below the lightning’s kiss
Black light by which I see
I am you and you are me
Something discovered, something unknown
Horns that show from which I’ve grown
A cut to cherish, claim, and bleed,
Your blood to torture, flame, and feed,
Storms and fire and strange feared source
Freedom lost with no remorse.

Minutes After

The wind stirs the dust of
the red dirt and white chalk that
stains your soul.
inhaling the scent of hot air while
the sun beats down, feel the
perspiration that builds on
your upper lip, hanging on each
icicle hair till my dry tongue
licks it off. Two shades of
red blending your hide into
SORENESS! and BRUISES! on
flesh and legs and lungs and
the look of imprinted weft on
your skin. Cheers being sung, fans
screaming loud, but you still
Hear nothing
from the crowd. You’ve already
interpreted the signs, underestimated
these pleasures and the question
left in the rubble of the aftermath is
always “What could I have done
different?” And it’s inexplicable how
through the memories and stains how the
hurt of this game can still feel
so good.

Wow. This was the shiznit!!!!! (That's good, if your wondering).

They were all different, with totally unique styles, but they somehow still went together.

I esspecially liked the middle stanza in "Truly Love."

There's not really much more for me to say, besides "This was awesome, people should give you money for this."

Well...maybe I'm just biased right now, but I see no love in these poems at all--I see pain, not happiness. Love should bring joy, not anguish.

I dunno what about this is so strange to me, but I just don't think it's love at all--sounds like a lust or an obsession.

But that's just me.

Hunter, ya beat me to it. I love your stile, Soy, but- well, talk about pessimism! Love should be "butterflies and rainbows," whether it always is or not. And most people like hearing about happy love, not love gone bad or whatever. Stylistically, those poems were awesome, although confusing most of the time. On the other hand- like Hunter said, no love here...

I liked it a lot. I especially liked your 'Truly Love' part. Beautiful rhyming

All of the above.

I really liked thse because I enjoyed seeing a different perspective on love. they were stunning, and the rhyming was pretty good too. You definately pulled it off. One thing:


You are everything that exists
Beyond, below the lightning’s kiss
Black light by which I see
I am you and you are me

I was anticipating the rhyming on this, and the very last line sounded wrong compared to what i had thought it would be. My imagination conjured:

There is only black light by which I see,
yet somehow you've discovered me

Yeah I know I normally don't like people tampering with my poetry either, that's just how I thought it should sound good poetry though!

Very much like Spanish poetry (which I love to read but I can't write worth squat... yet). Since this is very much like Spanish poetry, I am forced to say I like it, but I am filled with an overwhelming desire to translate them all into Spanish so it sounds pretty. Er... pretty as in I like the sound of Spanish in poetry more than English. Yeah...

Anyway, I give it a thumbs up.

yay Snoink! Another Spanish poetry buff! And, if you can, go ahead and translate them. I don't know enough Spanish yet to really make it say what I want, so I left it in English. I didn't want to loose the meaning of the poem in bad translation. My fav SPanish poem at the moment is 'Yo Soy" Por Octavio Paz. Have you read?