Young Writers Society

Wow... I have seen so many poems about suicide.

Sometimes the topic does get a little dried up.

I do like the poem, like most of your other works, Brad. But sometimes you've read so much about a subject you don't even stop to think about it ... you know?

Although, most people try to rhyme with a poem like this (and fail). So I like how you avoided this altogether, and tried to force a sense of guilt onto the reader, like it was their fault she killed herself.

Good job.

Hmm.. This was good. Not one of your best, but still good. The only part I didn't like was the "three magic words." That's just too.. common. And it doesn't fit your style.

Otherwise, it was alright.

I really felt the power of this. In fact I liked it better than some of your over poems because I could read the emotion and really relate to it.

Wow, that was totally amazing. It will bring the fact that people will miss you if you die, and they will blame the person who they assume brought you to that level. Amazing... I liked it, then again I like a lot of things... OOH A BLUE CAR!!!

Interesting, but not one of your best. The last stanza was much more...you. I get the feeling you wanted to write about a suicide, but couldn't think of the words, so you forced it at first. Just...the first two stanzas are very forced. I see 'blah, you left her, now feel bad' but...it just doesn't do it for me. The last two were much more powerful. I would definetly revamp the first two though. All they seem to do is give some background to the real poem.

It's very well written.. It's more like a story you're telling. The only dramatic emotion it could bring in me was.. sad, missing sadness.

I don't understand the title...

And who speaks? It's meant for the person you is 'you' right.
You wrote this in a way, I don't know who the person is who have written this to the person who is suppose to be 'you'... That's unique.. I guess

Xia... This poem fit the music I'm listening to.. lol

I've long known real life was not as powerful in words as my imagination.

I am waaay too tired to do a proper crit, but I liked this. There were some good images: cradling the phone, carrying the razor down to the bathroom; I'm not sure exactly why, but they were easy for me to picture. Though this poem is rather unlike you, I still enjoyed it. Good job.