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Young Writers Society


l'orangina rouge



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321 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 321
Fri May 27, 2005 10:53 am
Liz says...



glittering pink flower earrings,
auburn plaits heated by the sun,
café mascara hanging off long lashes
are not enough to satisfy the serpent in me.

i need holes in my lips, new, red aluminium skin
re-forming over the wound
and deep crimson grazes on my leg,
two deep, firm scars
running parallel along my thigh
are what quenches the thirst of the mer rouge inside of me.

no lipstick, lips only coloured by always-threatening blood.
it never pricks the surface; i stop when it sears too much.
i just sit and long for what is in front of me,
i just yell half-heartedly at her, not caring if they stare at me.

night-time smiles make the sky fall,
the moon swoons and gallops over saint sulpice,
i hide under coated eyelashes; i was freezing,
wanting to crawl up under the north point of the tour eiffel.
shadows of montparnasse leak onto our hair.
ever deeper we wade into its blackness dotted with whiteness.

it's purelyimaginary teeth-grittings of "jesus christ" tacked onto the jagged air.
neon pink against silver - it's not real, it can't be.
i can't confront the croissant reality of the grass under the tour eiffel.
written: Sunday 26th September 2004, 10:12pm.
purple sneakers
  





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665 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6165
Reviews: 665
Fri May 27, 2005 8:38 pm
Chevy says...



I must say, Liz. This is the best thing I have ever read by you. I'm extremely impressed. The imagery was great from beginning to end and you really played with the reader's mind. I enjoyed every minute and I read it twice. If I were a teacher grading your paper, I'd give you a 100. Great job.
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.
  





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594 Reviews



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Points: 6831
Reviews: 594
Fri May 27, 2005 11:59 pm
Crysi says...



I LOVE THIS!!!! Excellent, excellent, excellent. Purely genius. Nothin to critique here.
Love and Light
  





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1258 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6090
Reviews: 1258
Wed Jun 22, 2005 4:03 am
Sam says...



YEAH!!!

And an award-winner too, I might add. :wink:

I salute you!
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin
  





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563 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 13816
Reviews: 563
Wed Jun 22, 2005 2:27 pm
Writersdomain says...



Congratulations, Liz! This is great!
~ WD
If you desire a review from WD, post here

"All I know, all I'm saying, is that a story finds a storyteller. Not the other way around." ~Neverwas
  





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323 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 323
Wed Jun 22, 2005 10:02 pm
hekategirl says...



I have to agree with everyone else, this is very, very good!!! and I can't critque.
***Honorary 11-Year-Old***

Heh-COT-ee-GUR-el

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