I don’t really know how to feel you, but maybe by feel
I mean show you how I feel, I’ve already touched
you, and kissed you, like exotic honey from
a forbidden grove, I’ve rubbed you, sensed you,
felt the back of my jeans rubbing the front
of yours like a sensual mid-eastern mating dance
I guess I was marking my territory
I wonder if I need to do more now, just
to appease you, take care of you, this sweet
tenderness I feel towards you is like an unquenchable
thirst. But I don’t need to do anything for you; you are
not really mine. You were only all for me for those few
tender moments as I made an idiot of myself. You were
worth it.
Your hand in mine felt sticky with sweat and nerves.
I don’t even know if I like you that way anymore. Maybe
it was just the intoxicating glow of the lowlights, the energy
of the dance floor, your fascination with me that made me hunger
for you like a kitten yearning for cold cream. I backed it up on you
just to reduce that craving. I wonder now if I regret that.
When I talk to you now, and hear the fuses of your vocal
cords twisting my name, making it sacred in my ears, I become
uncertain. I can no longer sense your all-out adoration for me,
and your tones speak volumes to me. Once you were held in my trance,
taken captive by my curves, the way my chestnut hair clung to my shoulders.
sweat drenched, the spellbinding way my hips moved in an interpretive
variation of a belly dance.
But I feel that my spell is fading, and you fall captive
to the magic of another girl’s assets. I cannot hold onto you,
I can only hold on to our night together, in some sort of urban
paradise, the school cafeteria transformed into our private
Utopia. And for those fragile moments, I can see myself morphing into
your own personal Venus in a butterfly kissed tank-top.
And you, you with your curly blonde hair like life-giving
sun light, and crystalline blue eyes that held captive my
every passionate desire, you were Mars to me, the sacred yet
forbidden love that every young girl longs for in her secret innermost
dreams. I just wish I could tie you up and lock you in my basement,
so that you could be all mine. I would never share you with anyone,
but feed off of your life and strength like a possessive vampire prowling
the night.
But that cannot be. I cannot steal your life-essence so
selfishly, when you have so much to offer to the rest
of the world. I can only thank you for what you gave me
that one night, and make feeble attempts to banish your
face from my dreams.
And I feel like I gave you so much. It was almost as though
I was a porcelain doll, put on display for you. I was like a sample
that tasted sweet in your mouth, a fragrance with intoxicating fumes.
But perhaps one taste was enough for you, one dance all you needed.
But I cannot deny that I need more
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