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Young Writers Society


Taken View



My friend any good?

Yes
3
75%
Nope.
1
25%
 
Total votes : 4


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Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 1160
Sun Feb 27, 2005 3:26 am
Elizabeth says...



I ain't never seen a poor white guy in the world
Maybe 'cause all the white folks are workin' and aint' got no trouble findin' jobs
I ain't never seen a think white man
They is all fat from they toes to they head 'cause they all full of food
But where is the food for the brothers on the street tryin' to live?
Where is the tribute to the fallen black soilders?
Why ain't anybody respecting what we did for ya'll families?
Ya'll country and freedom?
Why don't you Caucasians just stand up and lend us a hand?
If we all work together good things will happen and the world will be a better place
Why don't you all give us jobs and food so we can work and eat?
Why do you got to discriminate by our colors and our actions?
Some men are bigger than others but that don't mean they are nicer, cleaner, safer to be around.
If a white rapist charged 20 years in prison and a blaclk dude like me walked up in a shop
And we both applied for the same posistion in a job
Who would you choose? Ya won't choose me because my skin aint' pale like his
Even though he be hurtin' others and killin' others you still choose him
My view is taken as a black man livin' in the South in the 1950's
All men are created equally my ass,
USA nation of freedom? In my view the freedom is granted to those who are up to the standard.
My view is taken by all the suffering and brutality my people face.
My view is focusing on keepin' my family safe from you!
My view was blinded one day when ya'll attacked me on Thanksgiving because some girl said I raped her.
My view is blackened but still is high.

(My friend wrote this and wanted me to post it because she doesn't have a computer. So here it is. I'll tell her what you say later)
  





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Sun Feb 27, 2005 3:32 am
Sam says...



I thought it was pretty good. Though i know I'm biased because I'm white, I got a whole kind of whining vibe throughout the entire thing. I know black people have centuries and centuries of complaints about the white people, but it shouldn't sound so little kiddish, you know what i mean?

But i did like the last line. I laughed out loud...don't know why, but I just did. :D
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin
  





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Gender: Female
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Sun Feb 27, 2005 4:48 am
hekategirl says...



I agree with everything she is saying but this sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cliche! you've heard this kind of thing everywhere!!

But this is an O.K poem to read.
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 890
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Sun Feb 27, 2005 4:59 am
Elizabeth says...



Everything is Cliche' now what is the point of writing then?
Shall we all stop?
Besides, it is black history month so when all the cliche-ness stops then this will be a great poem.

ramble ramble ramble
  





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323 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 323
Sun Feb 27, 2005 5:02 am
hekategirl says...



Yeah, didn't want to seem harsh or nothing but it didn't seem orginal enough to me
  





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Sun Feb 27, 2005 5:24 am
faith says...



yes everything has been said before, but the trick is saying what's been said and making it clever or powerful or interesting again. which this, unfortunately, failed at.
  








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