Young Writers Society

staring at the sun
you wonder
whether the pandemonium of colours
spiralling ahead of your eyes
is your breed of nirvana
or just another lost universe
dampened by evanescence.

gazing at the knife in your hand
you speculate
whether the dripping blood
is yours
or the dead man's on the floor.
more fundamentally,
you muse
whether the enigmatic masterdom
really gives a damn.

probing his frozen eyes
you surmise
that this impulsive bloodshed
only disturbs
the insecure maligner,
the suppositious righteous,
the characterising bureaucrat
and his deluded support.

only the angels,
the sweet, sweet angels
understand that it
changes nothing.

well, jack, i think this is the best thing i've read by you..you really did a good job on this. it was so fresh--unlike a nything else ive ever read, i think. two thumbs up for original work...way ta go partner!:-)

My, what a large vocabulary!

I like this. A lot. Like Chevy said, it's original and complexly simple (FYI, "complexly simple" is probably the best compliment I can give you).

I absolutely love< the first stanza. The imagery and wondering feeling is awesome.

Overall, awesomely awesome poem. 10 out of 10.

wow, this was excellent, you have a fabulous choice of words and your are very experiened with what you do. please keep up the good words. nice theme also i've never read a poem where a theme like that has been done before. i really enjoyed reading this, keep up the good work

wow... its pretty much all I can say I agree with the above ths has to be one of your best pieces and as they said to it's simple yet powerful you imagry worked so well and the complex words fitted in perfectly wiithout confusing the reader! =D>
wu x

*gives you the happyIveeatentomanyreessespiecessoImveryhyperandjustprobingthingsatthemoment dance* Delightful. As stated before, exsquisite use of and estensive vocabulary. Tell me, were these appelations already knwon to you, or was the use of a thesarus neccesary? Moreover, the imagery was astounding. Dead dude ont eh floor. Hee hee hee.

I used a thesaurus, obviously. I do not use those words regularly, but decided I needed some different words to use, so decided to use a good ol' thesaurus. Thanks for everybody's kind comments.

ahh thesauras, a writers best friend. (grr, i cant spell today!)

I thought so. I was just making sure, ya know? Still, very nice use of Roget (or whoever you used).

Yeh, I used Roget! lol, who doesn't?

Though I did know some of the long words...