Sleeping Along the Roadside

Sleeping Along the Roadside

12-26-05

Tangle me up and we’ll slide
Temple dreams and fragrant blankets
echoes of a lost place
peaceful reactions, explosions, and
weeping from highway to highway
crossing through skyscraper paradise,
we slide along the riverbeds of our lives
and at least we’re not cold
steamy showers and lucid fatigue
and at least we’re only burning
crumpling tambourines, melting speakers
to our heartbeat bass-line
at least we’re only twenty
tearing away together
into the freaky, hot
new day.

Rollercoaster,
Tall twirly and mighty
ghost whispers waning
on radio day,
poverty-strewn empty rooms,
I catch you and
above the maggots we glide
freed of our chains, reduced
by fear-lines, foggy rain
sharp windowsills,
and the catechism that tears us
into a lonely world, together.

Wanna know what i really liked about this poem? The way the structure mimicked the climax and buildup of the poem. It started out with short lines and gradually got longer, and then shortened again. Perfect. The last stanza could use some of the same idea.

huh.

Hmmmmmm......well, I liked it, but nowhere near as much as your other stuff I've read.
I would love to give you a big critique, but am currently incapable of being bothered to ....that's because I'm lazy...not because the poem's not worth my time lol.
I think that maybe I'm not in the right frame of mind for this....I've just re-read it, and I think I need to be more awake to re-read it again to say anything that you might find worthwhile or useful

I really like this poem. The structure is great. Your writing continues to make me go "damn, that's good".