hi whats hi hi is a way to say that I'll eventually say goodbye hi is hello hi is you to the person you love what is hi to you? because that is what hi is to me
Hey flaminglover! Dogs here for your review today. First i would like to point out that i really enjoy your avatar! lols, anyways, this poem is very good. It is original, short, and too the point. I really like this piece because of how original it is. However, i do have a couple nitpicks:
Firstly, when you say:
"Hi is a way to say that I'll eventually say goodbye"
There is a lot of good things and bad things about this line, firstly this is basically the line you base your entire poem on, it is both good and bad to base your poem on a single line. Good if you can't pull it off successfully, bad if the line has a few issues. This line has some minor problems and because it is the line you base your poem off of it is really important to fix these things. Firstly i don't really like the second line of this part. You overuse "say" and this line is too many syllables which throws off the rhythm.
Also when you say:
"hi is you"
I don't like this too much. It dosn't make sense to the reader and it leaves me confused. You could say instead "hello to you" which would feed into the next line well.
The difficulty of this type of poem is getting your point across effectively and still keep it very short while at the same time making it sound good. These poems, in my opinion, are the hardest to do. Anyways, this poem has a lot of potential in it so keep up the good work!
Great poem. Original and actually made me reflect over a few things.... Hi, what does it mean to me? I really liked this poem it's more than just good... Nothing to change ecxept a few mistakes. All in all a awesome poem - keep writting!
have u ever noticed how ugly rosy-lipped batfish r? and not like in the “aw ur so ugly ur cute” way that like opossums r — no they’re just hideously ugly beasts that should never have existed and r the epitome of evolution fails. the stupidity, blank look, head emptiness. they’re horrible n everyone who likes them r horrible too. they truly have the worst fan-base >:[ — Shady
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