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Young Writers Society


The Flight



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18 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 1300
Reviews: 18
Thu Dec 01, 2011 5:18 am
thersites says...



I fly.
Beyond windows, over rooftops, over smiles, over joy.
Fueled by fates flame and brimstone,
and sounds, shapes, and music,
on feathers dipped in gold and cane sugar,
I fly.

I fly
for freedom and for loved ones,
to leave my ink stain over suffering,
and to hold my breath against the wind
until my lungs have become dew drops
and my heart can feed the world.
I fly.

I fly
to kiss the cheek of daybreak
to tuck the sun in at night,
hand in hand with my lover, the Moon.
To hear a million lashes flutter shut
and a million lips breathe cool night air.
I fly.

I fly
from graveyards.
On a crash course with a newborns first cry.
To the edge of the horizon's horizon and beyond.
Because I don't need to keep walking,
I fly.


Spoiler! :
I wrote this to record how I felt the moment I found out that my grandfather had died. I am not sure whether it sounds insane but I actually was sitting outside in the amber sunset and I felt him rush over me as a breeze that shook the branches of the crab-apple tree in my back yard. It was summer, and the breeze was warm and I cry now every time I think of that moment, and every time I reread what he was in this poem.
Let's run in some circles, mate.
  





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39 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 972
Reviews: 39
Thu Dec 01, 2011 10:47 am
Blossom says...



Absolutly amazing! I honestly mean it when I say this is the best piece of work I have read on this site! You had me glued from the beginning and I loved the repetition of "I fly..."- simple, but compliments the other lines in the poem through sweet contrast. My favourite parts:
-"...to hold my breath against the wind"
-"and my heart can feel the world"
-"kiss the cheek of daybreak"
-"to tuck the sun in at night"
-"...hear a million lashes flutter shut"

Your metaphors and imagery is outstanding and it truly captures the link between you and the rest of the world!

Also, I am touched by what this poem means and holds for you- you conveyed it in such a beautiful and gently powerfull way. There isn't anything I have to criticise and it says all it needs to say. I really hope to read more of your work :)

-Blossom, always use the power of the pen! :)
  





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15 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 982
Reviews: 15
Thu Dec 01, 2011 11:52 pm
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MaryJaneStallheizer says...



I have recentley lost my grandmother, and I found myself relating to this in so many ways. I am absolutley marveled by your writing. Words can't describe how beautiful this piece of work is. I am also very touched by your story. If anything, you are an insanely talented poet. One very important factor I look for in poetry is imagery, and it's just utterly magnificent the way you put words together to form these amzing images. I love figurtive language, and I basically loved this poem. Please continue to express your thoughts through words, because you are a very talented poet, and your story behind it is very emotional. If there is anything you'd like me to read, without a doubt, I definatley would.
  








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