In the Tea

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Gender Male
Points 577
Reviews 198
Time un-
furls
slowly,

as do the leaves,
as do the words.
As if we

plucked
from domestic altitudes,
from Buddha's

hand
the soil's stillness.
I did not stir

but steeped.
For to steep
the morning

is to stretch
willow-backed
in an arch.

Like a leaf,
bearing the same-
faced farmer's

name in gold,
in the tip.
I could look

upon this willow,
these leaves
for a long and

long time.
Out of them
rises the seasons

and souls woven
and yawning,
with a touch

of honeyed malt
that does not hide the past
or deny the not-past—

I walked abroad.
What I'd lose
to walk forever.

To tread alone,
sipping by spinachy people
who would say

I am here.
And just like the opening
leaf I am

somewhere between dead
and alive.
For a passion

is amidst.
No, a mist,
because it is

in the air.
It is
in the tea.
Last edited by inkwell on Sat Oct 29, 2011 9:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
"The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible." — Einstein




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Gender Female
Points 564
Reviews 34
This is a beautiful poem overall, but one suggestion would be to capitalize the beginning of each stanzas and make sure when to end each line. But you're a great poet and I love it!! :)




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 28282
Reviews 884
I'm actually going to disagree a little with the first reviewer and say that I wouldn't capitalize it! She's right, usually lack of capitalization doesn't work at all in poetry, but for some reason I feel like it flowed with the natural sense that came through this poem. The images this had were just stellar, I loved this, and I'm left with nothing to complain about. *Liked*
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver




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Gender Male
Points 2340
Reviews 28
Wow. Impressive indeed! I also adore tea. :3
"At this very instant, I augment the spacetime that permeates and weaves our beings."



You'd be astonished at the intimate stories, hidden struggles, and heartfelt dreams that people are willing to reveal if only they find someone who'll truly listen.
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