Tainted

The words I praise drip, distastefully, from your lips
And onto the floor where they run and spread
Until they are thin and meaningless rabble.
I try to salvage them, and cup them in my hands,
But they slip back through my fingers and fall
Back to the rough cement where they dry
And stain the ground with a faint, tainted, glow.

Hey! Icy here to review. As I say to all my reviewees feel free to ignore any of the comments that I post on your work - after all, they are only my opinion. I'm not the best at poetry, so I'm uncertain as to how much I can help you, but I hope I can assist in some manner! This is a very short piece so it's likely I won't have many nipicks, I'll try tp think of a title as I go through.

Masquerade wrote:The words I praise drip, distastefully, from your lipscomma or full stop.
And onto the floor where they run and spreadcomma
Until they are thin and meaningless rabble.
I try to salvage them, and cup them in my hands,
But they slip back through my fingers and fallcomma
Back to the rough cement where they drycomma
And stain the ground with a faint, tainted, glow.

I can't think of anything suitable, sorry! What about just... words?
That's useless, I know. But I don't have much sucess in naming my own pieces - let alone others! I hope you come up with something good as this poem deserves it. Personally, I think your current title fits, although I agree that it is definately lacking some element. Good luck

Hello! Well, I do like this poem. Your vocab was excellent and the poem flowed nicely. I liked the layout and your grammar was fine. I don't personally get it when other reviewers go on about punctuation. Poems don't have to have it. It's how you've written it. It's called an enjamberment, I think, when a poem lacks punctuation. I personally like it. Well done. As for a title, you definately need a new one. 'Words of praise' needs to be scrapped. The title didn't draw me to your piece, though your writing was lovely. The only reason I viewed it was because you only had one review. Sorry. The quality of your writing did not detract from this piece. The title did. But I'm afraid I can't offer you any advice. You need to figure one out for yourself!
~ Amelia

First of all, I don't believe that we've formally met, I'm Fortissimo(: I want to start off by saying that you are a really good poet. Your words shine with meaning and feeling! I can't wait to see more poems out of you. There are a few little errors that we need to take a look at, though. Okay?

The words I praise drip, distastefully, from your lips I would recommend a stop here, rather than a pause, though either will fit.
And onto the floor where they run and spread "And" is not a tasteful word to start a sentence with, don't forget a period at the end of this line!
Until they are thin and meaningless rabble.
I try to salvage them, and cup them in my hands,
But they slip back through my fingers and fall "But" is another awkward word to begin a line with, * period *
Back to the rough cement where they dry comma,
And stain the ground with a faint, tainted, glow. Take out "and."

This might be my personal preference, but I'm not a fan of using the words "and" and "but" at the beginning of a line. My english teacher has always frowned on starting a sentence with "and" and "but," so I guess that lesson rubbed off into my poetry writing. Whether or not you want to change this in your poem is you call, I'm just offering a friendly suggestion(:

The next (and last) issue is punctuation. Usually, in poetry, you decide ahead of time whether or not you are going to use periods, commas, and question marks in your poem. (This applies for the *end* of the line only, although some count in middle of the line punctuation as well!) What I can see in your poem is that you used punctuation at the end of some lines, but not the end of others. It is important that you make it even. Choose either punctuation or no punctuation; your choice!

Overall this is really good! Keep writing, and like I already said, I can't wait to see more poems written by you! ~Fortiii

It made me sad that this is so short. I wanted more! You have such a cool style, it's awesome. I really don't have much to review here. Your piece was so short, and it was good! I didn't catch any mistakes or typos. You don't need a comma after salvage them or tainted though. Um, well, this is a pretty pathetic review. I'm sorry. I wish I had more to say, but this was so simple and short... And yet you had a clear theme and you expressed it well. So, good job!

I will ask you plainly, what did you want to say with this? What did you want to exhibit?

If you wanted to show off your knack for florid, lovely, well constructed lines, you succeed. But if you wanted this to be a serious piece with a theme, if you wanted to evoke more than just a simple scene, you failed. In my humble opinion - I say this because perhaps I missed something, I don't really know what this was about - you failed to strike a chord of recognition. In a way I know the feelings, but it is too vague for me to really draw parallels and to really feel it. The only hint we get is in the first line the word 'your.' Not only do you address the reader but you acknowledge the origin of the words, I would say this is about a break up? but that really is clutching at straws.

I think you would do well if this was longer, and if you gave us a few more hints so we can really live this poem, relate to the feelings. The only other criticism is the words 'meaningless rabble.' It's tautologous, rabble implies a lack of meaning, you don't need to reinforce this.

Anyway hope that helps, like I said, poetry really isn't my strong suit.

JP