She Stands Alone

Just something that came into my head when looking at a picture my friend took. Its not much, but I'd like to see what you all think So please read, comment and Review!


She stands next to her love,
yet he does not stand with her.

So close,
yet so far apart.

She calls his name,
but he cannot hear.

He ignores her cries.

The path is long and dreary,
but she continues with his name upon her heart.

For it is not the end that drives her,
but the companion that will be waiting for her there.

Hello! I really liked your poem. Sometimes when poems are simple they can be emotionless and uninteresting, but your's was totally the opposite. It was simplistic yet quite lovely. Here's just a few nitpicks:)

Thalizar wrote:She stands next to her love,
yet he does not stand with her.

So close,
yet so far ( perhpas add apart at the end of the sentence).

She calls his name,
but he cannot hear.

He ignores her cries.

The path is long and dreary,
but she continues with his name in ( perhpas upon would be a better word choice to in) her heart.

For it is not the end that drives her,
but the companion that will be waiting for her there.

Very nice. A *like* from me. Keep up the great work!
~ Amelia:)

Thanks Amelia, You seem to be a fan of my poems! Haha I never even knew I could write them! Thanks Anyway!

very good!!! i like it very much.....
quiet simple and very emotion, i can feel its very close friend too
good work keep up the good work!

This's really relatable. Especially the part about, her standing beside him, but him not being with her; that's happened to me recently. I liked this poem and really, there's nothing wrong with it.

Hi there. Lavvi in to review for you today.

This is sad. But it can also be related to by many people because unrequited love is so common a thing. Bittersweet.

You have great, simple imagery because of the wording, but you aren't so simple it's juvenile I really, really liked this. However, I thought the line where it states that he ignores this girl's cries was a little out of place. Like it was just there.

Yours,
Lavvi

Wow, this was really good! You really captured her sadness. My friend can so relate to this, she feels this exact way. The last sentence seemed a little long, you could replace companion with the person. This poem was short and simple, but was able to capture an exact mood which is hard so two thumbs up!!!
hope I helped!

I agree with all of the above comments. The line

He ignores her cries.

seemed unnessissarily repiticious. I like the idea of having one line alone to contrast against the couplets, but you may want to consider a different line. The end couplet was nice. Good work!

How Romantic you are

your poem sounds so beautiful. good job