Splintering clouds

4 posts
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CatsInSpace
Gender None specified
Points 300
Reviews 0
Fri Oct 15, 2010 3:39 am
CatsInSpace says... · Fri Oct 15, 2010 3:39 am
When I peel back your skin,
I'd better not see your heart whimper with complacency.
I need somebody with an electrical socket embedded in their skull,
and whose dreams are plugged into the air so hard
that they have cracked the sky's azure veneer and revealed her pink belly.



Basically, I am tired, don't want to do my English paper, and thought I'd post this online. I don't know how this site works... but I really like criticism, so feel free to tell me what you hate.
Peace.
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smashles
Gender Female
Points 1510
Reviews 37
Fri Oct 15, 2010 5:55 am
smashles says... · Fri Oct 15, 2010 5:55 am
Uh... It was good, I won't deny that, but it was so dark. The only line a actually didn't like was
CatsInSpace wrote:I need somebody with an electrical socket embedded in their skull,
Not sure I quite understood that... also there were lots of words that I'm not sure anyone knows the meaning to... like azure. Maybe I'm just not that smart.
Anyway, it was good so keep on... not doing your English.
Smashles
We all have moments of desperation, but if we face them head on, that's when we find out just how strong we really are. - Mary-Alice Young, Desperate Housewives
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alohajuice
Gender Male
Points 1630
Reviews 56
Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:09 pm
alohajuice says... · Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:09 pm
CatsInSpace wrote:When I peel back your skin,
I'd better not see your heart whimper with complacency.
I need somebody with an electrical socket embedded in their skull,
and whose dreams are plugged into the air so hard
that they have cracked the sky's azure veneer and revealed her pink belly.

I like the juxtaposition of a smooth clear sky having a jiggly pink belly. it was unusual and i liked it! unusual phrases are always a cool thing. Over all, it wasn't noteworthy... but that one line was better than the rest.
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lin night
Gender Male
Points 1040
Reviews 92
Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:01 pm
lin night says... · Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:01 pm
This is great. So many interesting pictures. Robotic yet squirmy and fleshy... I like this. It feels like the future.
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4 posts


Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.
— Apple Inc.