Splintering clouds

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When I peel back your skin,
I'd better not see your heart whimper with complacency.
I need somebody with an electrical socket embedded in their skull,
and whose dreams are plugged into the air so hard
that they have cracked the sky's azure veneer and revealed her pink belly.



Basically, I am tired, don't want to do my English paper, and thought I'd post this online. I don't know how this site works... but I really like criticism, so feel free to tell me what you hate.
Peace.




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Gender Female
Points 1510
Reviews 37
Uh... It was good, I won't deny that, but it was so dark. The only line a actually didn't like was
CatsInSpace wrote:I need somebody with an electrical socket embedded in their skull,
Not sure I quite understood that... also there were lots of words that I'm not sure anyone knows the meaning to... like azure. Maybe I'm just not that smart.
Anyway, it was good so keep on... not doing your English.
Smashles
We all have moments of desperation, but if we face them head on, that's when we find out just how strong we really are. - Mary-Alice Young, Desperate Housewives




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Points 1630
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CatsInSpace wrote:When I peel back your skin,
I'd better not see your heart whimper with complacency.
I need somebody with an electrical socket embedded in their skull,
and whose dreams are plugged into the air so hard
that they have cracked the sky's azure veneer and revealed her pink belly.

I like the juxtaposition of a smooth clear sky having a jiggly pink belly. it was unusual and i liked it! unusual phrases are always a cool thing. Over all, it wasn't noteworthy... but that one line was better than the rest.




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Gender Male
Points 1040
Reviews 92
This is great. So many interesting pictures. Robotic yet squirmy and fleshy... I like this. It feels like the future.



Someday, everything is going to go right for you, and it will be so wonderful you won't even know what to do.
— Hannelore Ellicott-Chatham, Questionable Content