Though I never heard you calling
You knew I was there to help.
And though we saw no signs…
…no clear signs…
We cannot blame you,
Nor anyone else still here,
For what you have done.
It’s been over a year for me
To fully realize the situation.
And now that I’m here
I both realize
And admit that
I do not understand why
So I ask you to help.
What on earth were you thinking?
Surely, it hadn’t been planned.
But why, may I ask, did you
Feel as if
You needed to?
For you were the last one
Anyone would expect.
My only wish is that you would
Have told someone your plan.
But further investigation
Told us that
You had none.
It was a decision made in only
A split second of suspense.
I also ask you; what did you
Wish to accomplish with that?
Was it one or all of us?
But who?
Or what?
Curiousity will destroy me
If I never know why.
When I think of what’s happened
I can only remember the memories
That I never knew I’d ever want
To hold on to
Forever and longer
Because of the loss I’ve gained
For a reason unknown to the living.
Even if there was no reason at all,
I truly and deeply hope that you
Hear this cry for help.
In the night
Sitting here
I cry for aid to understand though
You will not answer me.
Anger filled us all when you
Silently told us you were gone.
We wished to yell at you
With protest,
Frustration,
But mostly disappointment
In your recent actions.
But as I sit here, alone and afraid,
I know deep down that you
Wouldn’t want us to feel
Saddened or
Even furious
Though I fear your guilt may tell
You that’s exactly what you deserve.
Don’t listen to your guilt, I say,
Tears rolling down my face.
I know you’re gone forever
But please,
Just listen
To this cry of distress that
All of us feel in your loss.
