Reassurance (Comments, please?)

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A bleary vision;
watching the after-rain settle in.
A hazy misting,
soaking greedily into our fabrics.
My child asks me a question,
“Why does the flower cry?”
It is water-kissed
in the hands of my child.
Our eyes search the plucked flower,
and one another
for just a twinkling.
“It does not cry,
but lets the rain rest on its body.”
A boundless parade;
breathing in be-sprinkled earth.
A regular display;
twining digits for warmth.
“I love you.”
Conveyed with a delighted cadence.
“I love you, too.”
Even lies have reasons.
Last edited by Hibiscus on Thu Aug 05, 2010 5:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

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Hi,

This is really beautiful. I love your imagery, especially "A boundless parade".

It flows easily and the dialogue is a great touch, it really brings this to life.

The last line is very surprising and effective.

I'd change "“I love you.”
Conveyed with a delighted cadence."

to

"'I love you,"
conveyed with a delighted cadence."

Other than that I think that this is perfect.

Hope this helps,

Jas
"Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise."
-Maya Angelou




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Hey, i have to say that i really like this poem. You have some very great imagination put into this, and i for one appreciate that. The flow is easy to interpret and the emotion was clearly their. The whole interpretation is fenomenal and i found it quite easy to get a clear image in my head. i would advise you to keep on writing and i look forward to reading more :).

Good Work,

Porter :)




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Hello there! I must sat I really liked this! I agree with others comments saying you have good imagination put into this! This is quite creative. I had the images in my head as I was reading this. I also like your word choices. So nothing bad to say here. Keep up the good work XD



I say Wolf, for all wolves are not of the same sort; there is one kind with an amenable disposition – neither noisy, nor hateful, nor angry, but tame, obliging and gentle, following the young maids in the streets, even into their homes. Alas! Who does not know that these gentle wolves are of all such creatures the most dangerous!
— Charles Perrault