Wow. This is amazing. I loved it! You're telling us about a person close to you that passed away, and we all get that bit of sadness by reading it. It's so powerful, and that's what makes it great.
Mein Herz kämpft Gegen mich Wie'n Alien in mir Ich steh auf Dreh mich um Alles blutverschmiert Ich schau in den Spiegel Und da steht geschrieben
I thought it was good, its a tough topic to work with. It does lack some of the emotions that I might expect in it, but I think its an interesting touch, so I'm not completely sure if its a bad thing. The second quatrain is a little awkward, but I think someone already pointed that out already. Keep up the good work!
I really liked this poem. It was really touching. It had great personality and was written extremely well. Some parts I thought could do without rhyming. I didn't enjoy the parts where a new stanza started in mid-sentence. That really ruined the feel for me. Other than that, it was a wonderful poem.
MWAHAHAHA! -RepublicOfCoter(ROC)
"As I lay down on my bed, I look up at the sky, the stars and the moon, and I think to myself: Where the hell is the ceiling?" Unknown
"The fun is in the chase, never in the capture" Agatha Christie
