for Nick, 'Tendrils of Gaze' (needs work...)

7 posts
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Elizabeth
Gender Female
Points 890
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Wed Aug 10, 2005 7:58 am
Elizabeth says... · Wed Aug 10, 2005 7:58 am
You are so very fragile that I feel forced
to suffocate you in bubblewrap and enclose you
in a cardboard box (this side up) and send
you (my poetry) through UPS, addressed to me.

tsk tsk tsk :P naughty little you
poor mail man

nice work you sack of brad
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Incandescence
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Wed Aug 10, 2005 8:00 am
Incandescence says... · Wed Aug 10, 2005 8:00 am
Is this too short, too sympathetic, or just bad all around? I can't decide.
Nick's picture is on my blog.
"If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders." -Hal Abelson
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Elizabeth
Gender Female
Points 890
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Wed Aug 10, 2005 8:02 am
Elizabeth says... · Wed Aug 10, 2005 8:02 am
not too short, not too sympathetic and not bad.
And I saw his pic.

happy now?
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Incandescence
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Wed Aug 10, 2005 9:35 am
Incandescence says... · Wed Aug 10, 2005 9:35 am
Yes, I am.
"If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders." -Hal Abelson
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Sam
Gender Female
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Thu Aug 11, 2005 1:18 am
Sam says... · Thu Aug 11, 2005 1:18 am
The last stanza made me laugh...marshmallow...hehe. Maybe something like 'wax'? I'm not sure. The marshmallow makes it sound très stupid.
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin
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emotion_less
Gender None specified
Points 1078
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Thu Aug 11, 2005 1:51 am
emotion_less says... · Thu Aug 11, 2005 1:51 am
Eh... It was kind of sappy... I know, I shouldn't be one to talk about sappiness... Lovely, I guess I can say, yet it made me laugh throughout... but it's not bad or short.
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Chevy
Gender Female
Points 6165
Reviews 665
Thu Aug 11, 2005 2:29 am
Chevy says... · Thu Aug 11, 2005 2:29 am
hm...who is this Nick...

*goes to brads blog*
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.
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7 posts


"Storybooks and roleplays are just for fun!" To which I say: of course! But why only "just"? Sometimes fun is found in the full-send. Sometimes fun is found in taking it seriously, and aiming to do it with excellence!
— soundofmind