Colorado with My Best Heart

Clouds are cracking
Blood is dripping
But I am in Colorado with my best heart

Eyes of crystal green, sometimes blue
He is my best heart
Tan skin and lean body
He is the man I know
Into fields of mint and juniper
Snow falls on us
Powder blue and pleasantly cold.
Hold me close in Colorado

Ice is melting
Sky is glowing
And still the junipers grow
Mint in my mouth, oil slicking my teeth
A glance toward the mountains where the snow still lies
I am in Colorado with my best heart

Boarders are boarding
Skiiers skiing
I am not a skiier
We board together down the hills
Oh, to be in Colorado with my best heart

He and I are going
We are both knowing
But we are not caring.
Watch one million drops of rain fall from the evergreen
This is our time
This is our love
My biggest heart is his
The only one I love

Time is passing and so are we
But I won't die and neither he
One never dies, only keeps going
Into the unknown.
I will not leave him. Can not

In the field again just walking:
"That tree is fearless"
We are fearless.
We do not fear loss, so we love and love
It's all we know

That tree is fearless,
Jutting up higher than the rest
Fears not the sky and just grows and grows

Sky is bleeding
Clouds are nowhere in sight
Summer strides towards us
I know eyes of crystal green, sometimes blue
This is true
I am in Colorado with my best heart

Ok so I'm feeling the emotion, but i think you should cut out the whole skiiers are skiing boarders are boarding part. Though you are painting a picture, it seems irrelevant. you could just say you both snowboard together and leave out the skiiers.

sometimes it seems to rhyme and others it doesnt so i wasn't sure if there was actually a structure to it. Maybe I'm just not catching it? But I do feel the emotion coming out of it.

nicely done.

Thanks for reviewing Kaiden!! I might go back to it when I have time. But I just really like this poem

This was interesting. Nice description, and it did paint a picture in my mind. Your feelings pretty much bled through the words. It was nice, kinda inspirational actually. It shows that love has no bounds. Nice!

Thanks Dominique I'm glad you like it! Its nice to hear your take on it-- inspirational and boundless

Review:

I loved the imagery in this story. I could picture it really well and the words flowed. It's very creative, although some lines didn't seem to fit well. I got confused about the tree part, but the fearless thing was interesting. Overall, it was a well-written poem and I enjoyed reading it.

-Janedoe-

Thank you very much janedoe. Imagery just happens with a lot of things I do. I'm really glad you like the fearless part. The tree is just part of the whole piece

Hi there!
I really enjoyed this poem. I particularly like the first three stanzas. The imagery is strong but simple, not overdone or forced. I like that throughout the poem you've mixed simple understated facts into the description. If you do go back to it, I would work on the three middle stanzas, they seem a little out of place with the rest of the poem, and almost seem thrown away. The emotion in these stanzas is clear and strong, but they seem to lack the imagery and the strong sense of place that the rest of the poem has. I think it would be interesting if you could tie the concepts and emotion in those stanzas into descriptions of places and experiences.
But then, maybe they are intentionally out of place- in which case, ignore me
Overall, I loved this poem! Looking forward to reading more of your stuff... like, right now

nice man i like the poem it makes me feel like i want to be in colorado i mean i live in the state above it and it is mostly the same but i wish i could be in warm colorado.

Thanks for the reviews cee17 and lifeblood!
Cee17, I'm glad you appreciate the imagery. the whole thing pretty much wrote out as like all one big ball of love and other things. I was not trying to be organizational. Everything just happened to be out of place And lifeblood, I like your reaction. You actually want to visit Colorado now haha

alohajuice wrote:Clouds are cracking
Blood is dripping
But I am in Colorado with my best heart I love this line, it sounds so.. wow, descriptive. I can picture the clouds cracking. What do you mean by "with your best heart"? Anyways, I like this line. It flows well

Eyes of crystal green, sometimes blue
He is my best heart
Tan skin and lean body
He is the man I know
Into fields of mint and juniper
Snow falls on us
Powder blue and pleasantly cold.
Hold me close in Colorado

I love that line

Ice is melting
Sky is glowing
And still the junipers grow
Mint in my mouth, oil slicking my teeth
A glance toward the mountains where the snow still lies
I am in Colorado with my best heart

Boarders are boarding
Skiiers skiing
I am not a skiier
We board together down the hills
Oh, to be in Colorado with my best heart

He and I are going
We are both knowing
But we are not caring.
Watch one million drops of rain fall from the evergreen This line throws it off. It's too long.
This is our time
This is our love
My biggest heart is his
The only one I love

Time is passing and so are we
But I won't die and neither he and neither "is" he
One never dies, only keeps going
Into the unknown.
I will not leave him. Can not

In the field again just walking:
"That tree is fearless"
We are fearless.
We do not fear loss, so we love and love
It's all we know

That tree is fearless,
Jutting up higher than the rest
Fears not the sky and just grows and grows

I like that word(:

Sky is bleeding
Clouds are nowhere in sight
Summer strides towards us
I know eyes of crystal green, sometimes blue
This is true
I am in Colorado with my best heart

I like how you ended it just like it began. You did a very good job on this poem. I can't really understand what point your trying to make. You talk about leaving him and then you said you cannot. It's hard to understand what story your poem is telling.

Oh my gosh that was so amazing! Honestly, I loved it. It really symbolises the real meaning of true love. Gorgeous imagery too, all the scenes you described seemed beautiful. That's what this is, beautiful. Keep it up and let me know if you ever want a review because from what I've seen so far I would be honoured to read more of your work.

thanks for reading my stuff rememberme! You are soo nice. I need to review some of yours when I can. and thanks for helping me out here. I wrote this a long time ago. It feels like forever. I've grown a lot as a writer, and I feel like I've gotten better.