Alone

Alone.

I wear a disguise
Chameleon
Blend into the lies
Quiet

Can't make a sound
Disappear
Or I will be found
Withdraw

I've attained my goal
Invisibility
But I have an unrelenting hole
Incomplete

It threatens to swallow me
Abyss
It won't set me free
Pain

It remains an aching in my chest
Heart
I am constantly depressed
Soul

Something's missing
Someone
But no one is listening
Oblivious

No one can see
Invisible
I can no longer be me
Ghost

My disguise
Has become my demise.

I likes it i likes it. Very good. Love the last line so true.

This is amazing! I wish I could write like that. You go from one line to the next and it all flows.

Keep Writing

-Flower-

ahhhhh this makes me sad! it has a wired arau of saddnes lingering about it. it flows really well. i can picture the images so well in my head. it could be a bit shorter as you do repete your self quite a bit. but ist is rather splendid!



pm me
summer x

I'm not going to lie...I really think that those last two lines make the poem so special. Not just because they rhyme, but because it's the truth of the entire poem. Her/his entire goal in this poem is to be invisible, but when he/she gets there they realize it's not all it's cracked up to be. Not that many people try to be invisible, but you know what I mean. That's the truth about life in those last two lines too. So many times we build up facades and hide who we are, only to find it brings us nothing. Overall, I really loved it

This poem was written in a unique way. It's short of a form of a sonnent & also explaining the previous line into one word. I like how it shows the character is feeling & how they believe they are becoming a ghost. It's explain in the last two lines. The two lines i think is the most powerful in the poem ( like people said ). You can find maybe a connection or two into another life such as mine.
I actually havent't never seen a poem written like this, at least the ones i read.
Keep on writing, this is a very instresting piece.

very well written and very realistic. I can feel the narrators pain and dilemma. Very well written and I like the simple style it accentuates the emotion. very nice!

Structure-wise, not typical, so I like it. The concept was vague, but had a lot of emotion as well. Punctuation marks could help though; they'll make statements stand out more. Aside from that, it's nice. Keep it up!

What? Good? This? No.

It's typical teenage angst poetry. "Chameleon", "Mask", "Cannot be found", "Withdraw", OH, so these are the lines where you talk about how unique it is for a teenager not to feel included, so they have to morph their identities in order to conform with the school-wide populace? HOW INTERESTINGLY UNIQUE /fail.

You need to take a good hard look at decent poetry, especially if you're going for the non-conformist, I'M AN INDIVIDUAL, style. Read "Tulips" "L'ennui" and "Lady Lazarus" by Sylvia Plath. Then, read "Un saison en enfrare" by Rimbaud.

I like the mood. Loneliness is sweetly bitter in its own depth. You did a nice job communicating your message.

Woww! this was really insightful. I really liked the last lines, they just add that extra spark to your poem to make it extra special. Loved it!! Keep writing, I look forward to reading more

ehh i know what its like to be here.. the world echoing your words back to you.. the pain of knowing that your the only one there...its often thought as fun.. in the eys of others and things.. but this is the clear explaination of what it really is..

quiet nice...

Whoa.This is really something.And I agree with what everyone is saying about those last two lines.They're still echoing in my mind.

Whoa.This is really something.And I agree with what everyone is saying about those last two lines.They're still echoing in my mind.

Whoa.This is really something.And I agree with what everyone is saying about those last two lines.They're still echoing in my mind.