z

Young Writers Society


chocolat blanc



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321 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 321
Sun May 22, 2005 6:32 am
Liz says...



snatches of bright cotton sliding off to the south, pinned
onto chocolat bleu Parisien just aches with paix.
it's more than the dull cocoa of the Eiffel Tower
which is watching over my plait, nectarines, orangina.
it's the sun on my back, it's cold breath on my neck, it's faint horns on my skin.

tiny laughter mingles with high bird cries
and the tower symbolises chocolat blanc and baguettes and camembert.
hands are entwined as bodies lie together on the grass of Paris,
hot watermelon sun on roxy jeans, dotted scars, chocolat chaud hair
laid out on the lime blanket.

pigeons pecking at specks of food,
chalk-white butterflies sitting on the strawberry breeze too strong for pretty unimportance.

it's sunday and everything i miss is waiting for me.
written: Sunday 26th September 2004, 1:00pm.
purple sneakers
  





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Gender: None specified
Points: 1078
Reviews: 333
Sun May 22, 2005 8:34 pm
emotion_less says...



It confused me a bit, but I liked the words and imagery you used. The poem was so pretty, even though I was confused.
  





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665 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6165
Reviews: 665
Thu Jun 23, 2005 2:30 pm
Chevy says...



Too much imagery and not enough substance.
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.
  








'They are afraid of nothing,' I grumbled, watching their approach through the window. 'Together, they would brave Satan and all his legions.'
— Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights