Young Writers Society

Sometimes it’s hard just to look at you
So if I smile quirkily, and I seem almost giddy
it’s not the white-caramel cappuccino talking
although that is what I’ll blame it on

And I don’t care if I AM wearing a white T-shirt
I still want to dance in the rain

I’ll talk to you on my cell phone while shopping in the mall
and ask you if I want an Italian Soda or Hot Chocolate
somehow, you always know

And small drops of water that trickle down my face aren’t always raindrops
even if it is raining
I’m not sniffing because I have a cold
even though it is cold

I never thought it would end this way
With a big blow-out over the MSN instant messenger
who am I gonna talk to when can’t make up my mind at Java Hut
And now I can’t kiss the phone after saying goodbye to you
or whisper I love you, even though I know you won’t hear it

Because I don’t love you anymore
I don’t think I ever will, again
It was as abrupt as the last bell that marked the end of tenth grade
And I changed. I don’t have you anymore. You don’t have me
I don’t want you

People, things, relationships, they all change
I didn’t think this ever would, though,

Somehow, I thought we would stay the same forever,
like in eighth grade when you used to make fun of my clothes
or in ninth when I made fun of yours, you once-was gothic freak, you

And just because I told you to stop being friends with her
that lesbian angel of yours,
because she hated me,
does not mean I am responsible for her suicide
so stop pawning this on me

Because I didn’t pull the trigger

That was really powerful and sad... but nicely written.

I'm being transparent here...

"Somehow, I thought we would stay the same forever,
like in eighth grade when you used to make fun of my clothes
or in ninth when I made fun of yours, you once-was gothic freak, you "

It was just kind cliche...expected. It flowed very well but it was like too much and not enough substance.

"People, things, relationships, they all change"

Okay, okay, okay. I know there was a line after this, but this sounds like something in a self-help book..maybe you should word it differently.

"Because I didn’t pull the trigger"

You did manage to redeem yourself in the VERY LAST LINE. I thought that was great. So, I guess I'll give this poem 3 stars.

Overall, it was an okay poem...I got the point, and that's probably what matters most. You should try turning this into a story.