Shared love

3 posts
User avatar
breenuttxo
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 1
Tue Dec 02, 2008 12:28 am
breenuttxo says... · Tue Dec 02, 2008 12:28 am
The moment she let
his car drive away.
The feeling of regret
came to stay.

She knew she should
have done something more.
I kiss goodbye,
as she walked to the door.
Quote




User avatar
anti-pop
Gender None specified
Points 1781
Reviews 143
Wed Dec 03, 2008 9:35 pm
anti-pop says... · Wed Dec 03, 2008 9:35 pm
(Hi! I'm anti-pop, and I'm going to point out some little things that should be corrected)


The moment she let

his car drive away, (A comma should be here, not a period)

The feeling of regret

came to stay (Try not to use too many periods in poetry)



She knew she should

have done something more;(Semi-colon)

I kiss goodbye,

as she walked to the door


(Post the whole poem! I'd love to read it! Keep up the good work)


*anti-pop
Quote




User avatar
breenuttxo
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 1
Fri Dec 12, 2008 3:12 pm
breenuttxo says... · Fri Dec 12, 2008 3:12 pm
THANKS :) Yeah im going to post it soon once I finish editing it.
"Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience."
Victoria Holt
Quote

3 posts


Too often we crave the extraordinary in life, without even learning how to cherish the ordinary first. Friend, I promise you this: if you can learn to take joy in the simple mundane things in life, the extraordinary will take care of itself, it'll be on its way, hurrying towards you. But if you skip the first part, it'll ever evade you.
— Arcticus