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Young Writers Society


heartbreaker



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1258 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 6090
Reviews: 1258
Tue Apr 05, 2005 8:39 pm
Sam says...



Short, sweet, to the point. Basically, that is all I have to say.
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 1190
Reviews: 6
Thu Apr 07, 2005 11:24 pm
LonelyDragon says...



I really liked this. Brings back memories. Though, maybe you could expand it?

"but instead, we found worthless projector slides
and empty cans to kick around
while we waited on unpromised miracles
and the air to fill our lungs."

I love that... heh Nice work.
  





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321 Reviews


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Points: 890
Reviews: 321
Sat Apr 09, 2005 7:53 am
Liz says...



Pretty. I like the personal aspect of it, it really adds feeling to the poem. A little more impact would be good, but the simplicity is very effective. Nice work.
purple sneakers
  





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665 Reviews


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Points: 6165
Reviews: 665
Sat Apr 09, 2005 9:25 pm
Chevy says...



did you...change something?
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.
  








The very worst use of time is to do very well what need not be done at all.
— Benjamin Tregoe