z

Young Writers Society


No title (By me AND Sam)



User avatar
323 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 323
Fri Mar 04, 2005 10:14 pm
hekategirl says...



Note: This was written by me and Sam; so beware.

my thoughts spill on the paper like the words from your lips
they fill the page with black.....I have nothing
I try to be poetic yet these thoughts don't come as easily as I want or you want...
I do too much for you these days, too much for me too much for you, it's like i'm in the middle of a glass cage trying to get out but I can't because you're the walls that keep me from breathing, living...being free
why do you do this to me? it's like drowning in your own spit like the one guy on Fear Factor ok I made that up but still...why? why do you take me and turn me over and over? it is rather annoying. I'm not some piece of cookie dough you can just mold into any shape or form you want then bake it at 360 and get perfect results i'm not that kind of person
you can walk across the street and find another to toss around but not me
I've got my safety hammer so I will break the glass and go away.
Bye.
Last edited by hekategirl on Sun Apr 24, 2005 6:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
  





User avatar
1258 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6090
Reviews: 1258
Fri Mar 04, 2005 10:15 pm
Sam says...



yes i did indeed write part of this...all hail me
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin
  





User avatar
1259 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Male
Points: 18178
Reviews: 1259
Sun Mar 06, 2005 3:58 pm
Firestarter says...



Well, this is quite bad. I'm assuming it's a joke otherwise I am scared for your abilities I have previously witnessed.

I think it's quite obvious what's wrong with it, no flow, no decent enjambement, terrible ending, etc etc.
  





User avatar
1258 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6090
Reviews: 1258
Sun Mar 06, 2005 7:51 pm
Sam says...



You're just a regular old inspiring beam of sunshine, aren't you, Jack? lol

Basically, yeah. haha

I'm not quite sure what hekategirl thinks, though...we need to do a couple more to get the hang of it.
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin
  








But there was no goat man, there was NEVER any goat man!
— OSP Red