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Young Writers Society


Mad Scientist [Part I]



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Fri Mar 04, 2005 2:59 am
Sam says...



OK...this poem I'm posting as two parts since they're both very confuzzling and would sound weird together. :D
Edit: I'm having troubles with the second part so I'll post that later.

those infernal pink lines that surround your eyes
and cut across your forehead look
no offense
kind of strange like the deep cuts and marks
from chemical burns on your rough hands
that have never known the comforting touch
of a girl's palms underneath the table during
homeroom. I know
what they do to you, i seriously do, so don't
pretend no one else sees.

I know that their snide remarks hurt more than
the bite of raw acid on bare hands.
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin
  





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Fri Mar 04, 2005 9:44 pm
hekategirl says...



I really like this it is very descriptive. I really like the title, its great! I can really feel what your trying to say. This is my personal prefrence but I'd like it better if you capitilized your 'i's but its fine if you don't!
But I really like this poem!
  





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Fri Mar 04, 2005 9:51 pm
Misty says...



It's short, but sweet. I really think you should enlongate it though to convey your purpose better/
  





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Fri Mar 04, 2005 10:35 pm
Mattie says...



I thought you did great with the imagery, really pictured it in my mind. Is there some hidden meaning?
-Mattie*
  








worlds buzz over us like bees, / we be splendid in new bones.
— Lucille Clifton