Overall, I liked it. it was a good poem. nice job.
And you cut yourself to feel alive.
Wow. Very strong begining. Made me think, caught my attention, and had me wanting more all in nine syllables. Also, since you start it with "and," it feels like you're in the middle of a sentence, talking to someone, and it's like you're just begging me to evesdrop...which I did.
In a broken reality, silence foreshadowed
small gifts and flowers idolizing the ground
in which you touched.
This is really pretty. You form a beautifully demented picture for me, with shattered glass and presents and flowers on a barren, ashy ground. like it was beautiful once, but it isn't anymore.
The whims of dismay stained
purple and red just to see
that you could not be unbruised.
Good imagery. cool how you portray bruises as stains. I like it alot.
Truth is unwholesome and
lies are fulfilling
and our bright eyes are gaping
for anything perceived as perfect.
I like it, but it doesn't all make sense to me. Still, it's beautiful.
When you lie down and wood
penetrates your back and felt tip markers
euphemize your life, you smile
Hmmm...wood on back..markers...uh...dunno, or don't understand. like it though.
with the perverse eve of someone whose
existence has been denied in acts of
naiveté and regretful silence.
Beautiful. So sad, and regretful. awww....
You clutched by your side small animals
whose gaze and whimper both
would consort a man yet still
small...animals? Don't get that part.
they are only used to control the unwanted tears already forming in your eyes
makes me feel, because I've already felt that, and it makes me think. I love it.
Gender:
Points: 1040
Reviews: 493