Young Writers Society

He stared out into the sky. He could see the lights of Alagaesia. It had changed so much. He didn’t know who the ruler was but he was sure no-one could see them. Looking down, he saw him, his own father, still there in his diamond tomb. “What are we doing here master? Why did you bring us here?” the young rider asked with curiosity. But Eragon was in his own world and voices had become numb. The only sound was the gushing wind and the heavy breadths of both their dragons. It was so cold that if his tears were frozen, he wouldn’t be surprised. He could feel Saphira’s comforting presence. He wanted to be with him, go back to the way it was a hundred years ago. Brom finally seemed at peace, protected by the diamonds on his tomb but secrets still lured deep inside him. But Eragon knew he couldn’t stay, not now. He had promises to keep and a long way to go before he could return. Flashes of memories went through his mind, all those good times. “If I could only have that life for one more day” he whispered to himself and turned around and left.

Ash! You posted <3 <3

Anyways, some nitpicks:-

He didn’t know who the ruler was but he was sure no-one could see them.

Somethings just off with this sentence. Eragon doesn't know who the new ruler is, fine, what does it matter of who could see him and who couldn't.
I'm pretty sure this sentence is just me, but then yeah. How about something like: He didn’t know who the ruler, or how strong he was, but he was sure no-one could see them his wards would protect him from any on-lookers.

“What are we doing here master? Why did you bring us here?”

A comma between 'here' and 'master'.

It was so cold that if his tears were frozen, he wouldn’t be surprised.

Re-frame the sentence. Something like:- It was so cold, he wouldn't be surprised if his tears froze.

It was so cold that if his tears were frozen, he wouldn’t be surprised. He could feel Saphira’s comforting presence. He wanted to be with him, go back to the way it was a hundred years ago.

Now, here you change the topic from Brom to Saphira, so obviously when you look at the next sentence, you think its about Saphira. So, it took me a moment to register that when you said, "He wanted to be with him.", you meant Brom. Change both the pronouns. Change the sentence to: Eragon wanted to be with Brom again. Go back to the way things were a thousand years ago.

Also, I find this rather hilarious:-

go back to the way it was a hundred years ago.

The title says "After a thousand years"

So yeah, other than all that, it was really good. The grammar was good, and the only thing you need to work on is sentence structure. Well done!

Keep writing~
Sox <3

Thanks Sox! About what you said at the last, you know I have some blonde moments!