Written and printed….maybe, by Nicholas Robbins-Bevis
1
You’ve got mail
Once upon a time there lived a famous group of people called The Wiggles. There were three wiggles Murray, Anthony and Sam. They all lived together in the wiggle house with their servant and brother Jeff. They are broadcasted every day on television by none other than Princess Dorothy the dinosaur, who also features in the show. Jeff wasn’t a wiggle because he was lazy and always falling asleep but also because Murray, Anthony and Sam were very cruel to him. This tale is about how Jeff became the most popular wiggle. Lights, camera…let’s wiggle.
“Put on the telly and start watching “Yo Gabba Gabba”.” Barked Murray.
“Can’t you think of another really, really, really cruel punishment evil stepsister number one?” asked Jeff.
“NO! And for the last time my names Cook, Murray Cook and one day I will rule the world! MWAHAHAHAHAMWAHAHAHAHAA-Ack cough, cough” coughed Murray.
“Yeeaah, that’s a really bad evil laugh” Jeff laughed smugly. He did this a lot, which is why no-one really liked him. He didn’t mind though, he liked being alone, but sometimes he wished he had some friends that would be there for him all the time. Murray continued on. “You are the lazy, smelly servant around here. Now don’t you go forgetting that any time soon you little Nincompoop!” With that, Murray kicked Jeff in the left shin, swished around and walked swiftly out of the room with a sinister look on his face. Jeff looked up with a wretched expression on his face. “Yo Gabba Gabba” had just started.
***
DING DONG, DING DONG. No reader slash listener (if I’m reading this in front of the class) that ding was not the bell for lunch or recess or whatever, it was the doorbell at the wiggle’s house.
“I’ll get it!” yelled Murray and Anthony in unison.
The mail slot opened and in fell a lovely embroided with gold envelope. It slowly floated to the floor even though gold covered the whole of its exterior. Murray and Anthony looked at each other simultaneously than dived for the envelope. They wrestled for countless minutes until (finally) Sam walked in. Immediately the two brothers stood up, brushed themselves of and put sweet innocent looks on their faces.
“What is all these raucous nonsense about?” demanded Sam.
“We got a letter from…” Murray flipped the envelope over “…PRINCESS DOROTHY!”
2
Fairy God Dog
Sam snatched it out of Murray’s hand immediately after Murray uttered that name. He ripped it open violently. Paper fell everywhere as he
“Hm mm mmm” Sam cleared his throat then began. “I, Princess Dorothy the dinosaur, am looking for a new wiggle. As you know, there are already three wiggles (unless by some twist of nature you don’t watch The Wiggles…FOOLS!). These include Anthony Sam and Murray. This is not enough. I formally invite the entire town of Wiggleson to audition for the role of fourth wiggle. I also invite the three current wiggles to the vent so they can judge. Please meet at my studio tonight at five PM for auditions…No later. Yours sincerely, Princess Dorothy.”
“OMG, OMG!” Murray ran around in circles screaming until he ran in to the door with a loud smash.
“There’s gonna be a new Wiggle!! WOOHOO!” Anthony exclaimed. He too ran around in circles until he smashed into the door and fell on top of Murray.
“PILE ON!!!!” Sam screamed and jumped on top of Anthony. They stayed there for several minutes until Sam’s arm got trapped underneath Murray’s left butt cheek.
“SILENCE!” he yelled. “We shall begin immediately to prepare for the evening!”
“Yo Gabba Gabba just finished” Jeff had entered the room and was leaning against the door with his arms folded.
“SHUT UP WEEZIL!” snapped Murray.
“Now now Murray. Let’s not get hasty here. Jeff can was our clothes for this evening. Sam said calmly.
***
An hour later Murray, Anthony and Sam were all dressed and ready to leave for the night.
“Remember Jeff, feed the cat-“
“We don’t have a cat” Jeff interrupted Sam.
“Oh yeah, well don’t stay up late be good and STAY IN THE HOUSE!”
“Whatevs” replied Jeff, but they had already closed the door behind them. Jeff turned around and slouched down to the ground, where he began to cry in agony.
“Awwwww…don’t cry sweetie pie” A voice rang out from the room.
“?!” Jeff was startled at the voice “Who is it? Anthony? Murray? Sam? This isn’t funny!”
“It is not this Murray or Anthony or Sam you speak of, it is I.” With a puff of smoke a strange animal, well it wasn’t that strange; it was a dog, so you can’t really call it strange. Damn! I totally just ruined the effect of saying it was strange, I really do fail at this author business, maybe I could become a journalist like my dad, nah to boring. Actually I don’t know what I should be. Oops sorry, got a bit sidetracked there. So yeah a dog appeared in front of Jeff
“Who are you?” Jeff asked.
“I am Wags, your fairy god dog.” Wags spoke very slowly and cautiously almost like he was nervous which was weird because he was double the size of Jeff. His voice was also very husky, sort of like a bear’s growl crossed between an Irishman’s accent. His breath reeked and he had huge sagging bags under his eyes. His figure was petrifying and when he spoke to you had to look down so you weren’t terrified to death. Jeff was concerned; he wasn’t convinced this animal was actually an animal. He was about the same size as Sam and Jeff couldn’t stop noticing the little zip on its back. Jeff was pondering over whether to play along with this little charade or to just slouch back down to the ground and start crying again. Wags continued on. “As I can cleverly presume because I am the most clever, strong, brave, awesome person ever, except for Nick Robbins Bevis, he’s pretty nifty, oh and Room Five from Bayswater primary School, oh and Miss Whyatt and Miss Nanon. So as I was saying, I can cleverly presume you are in a bit of a pickle a-“
“Can it be a dill pickle?” Jeff but in.
“Sure” Wags reassured Jeff. “So I’m here to get you out of this dill pickle so you can get to the ball quick smart.” Wags was starting to talk a bit faster and his expression was becoming more and more excited every word he spoke. “Now go get me a little toy racecar immediately.” He ordered.
Now Jeff was absolutely convinced it was Sam. Seriously, he thought, a toy racecar? Who was this guy kidding? I mean, why would he want a little toy racecar, was he some sort of little toy racecar collector, or was he just some freak? Maybe he was Santa Claus and was collecting toys to give to the children at Christmas? He was pretty overweight and had a red and green collar on. Jeff rolled his eyes then slumped onto the floor and started to cry in absolute misery.
“What are you doing?” Wags requested. Jeff looked up; he had tears streaming down his face like water streams down a mountain into a river beneath. He had an absolutely heartbreaking expression on his face. Wags peered into Jeff’s eyes, what he saw was absolutely horrific. Here’s a boy with courage, Wags thought. This boy is the bravest boy I have ever met. In Jeff’s eyes was pain and suffering, eighteen years of nothing but sorrow, but yet this boy stood strong as if he had a colossal force field around him. If you were Wags you probably would’ve started crying along with Jeff. But, that’s not what Wags did; Wags sat down next to Jeff, he wrapped his humongous paws around him and told him it was okay to let a little anger out sometimes. Jeff was suddenly filled with contentment, it was his first experience of a hug in his life and it was wonderful, Jeff was about to ask what Wags was doing, because he had never been hugged before and had never seen his brothers hug either. Jeff was now certain that Wags was on his side, He turned to look at Wags and smiled; Wags smiled as well, Jeff then began to laugh, not with humour or grief, but with happiness, for the first time in his entire existence Jeff was laughing with happiness. He wasn’t completely happy, who would be? He was stuck in the house with nothing to do, and when his brothers and father came back he would go back to being unhappy, but for now he was laughing, with happiness, and at the moment that’s all that really mattered.
***
“Okay, now go get that little toy racecar” Wags spoke for the first time since he had sat down with Jeff. Jeff was still asleep though and hadn’t heard Wags. “Jeff...Jeff. Jeeeee-eeefff.” He sang. “Dude, wake up, we seriously have to prepare for the auditions now.”
“SNORK?” Jeff rolled his head over and then opened his eyes. “Okay, okay, let’s go.”
“First get the little toy racecar.” Wags said,
“Okay” Jeff then ran into his Brother Murray’s room and grabbed a tiny racecar.
It's not finished but yeah, I posted itP.S I'm new to this so plz help me
I like it. it would be nice to know how old all of them are. Can't wait for it to be finished.
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