Disclaimer: I do not own CSI, Sara Sidle, or any characters mentioned on the show. However, all original characters are mine.
Spoilers: Nesting Dolls, No Humans Involved, Committed. (Season 5)
Summary: A past that has been shrouded in mystery is pulled into the light. (Sara Story)
~*~
Prologue
“Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.”
--Oscar Wilde
September 16, 1976
Sunlight poured into a medium-sized room from a small space between two navy blue curtains. The rays shone on the windowsill, spreading down to the maple wood flooring, sweeping over the brass-framed bed and light blue walls. Two figures dozed beneath a blue and white quilt draped across them, peacefully unaware that morning had come and that a small somebody was about to alert them to the news.
Beside a large oak vanity was a door, and the blissfully silent morning was interrupted when it creaked open, a small pair of eyes peeking out from the room on the other side of it. When nothing inside the room changed, the door opened completely and the girl behind the eyes stepped cautiously into the room.
A yellow, red-balloon patterned scrunchie held her dark, curly hair back. She wore a matching sundress, inside out and back to front, with the buttons in the front only partly done. White sandals on the wrong feet pinched her toes. Yet after all the wardrobe mishaps, she smelt faintly like lilac—the smell of the perfume her grandmother had given her at her birthday party a few days before.
The girl cautiously shut the door behind her and stepped outside the shadow of the vanity, into the sunlight. Quietly, she crept across the faint blue rug on the floor next to her parents’ bed and stood silently beside it, gazing thoughtfully into her father’s closed eyes as if contemplating the best way to tell him it was morning.
Avoiding decision, she stood on her tiptoes and peered across the quilt at the other form, sleeping deeply. A mane of thick, wavy, dark brown hair blocked the girl’s view of her mother’s face. She was almost a miniature version of her mother, but her face was more youthful, being only five years old, and her eyes were brown, like her father’s, instead of a deep ocean blue.
The girl sighed, standing normally again, turning her head to the window and squinting into the sunlight. It was barely 7:30, and she knew her parents wouldn’t appreciate an early awakening, but this was urgent!
“Daddy…” she whispered apprehensively, tearing away from the window and looking back into his closed eyes.
Instead of answering, he took in a deep breath, pulled his blanket closer, adjusted his pillow, and fell back asleep with a smack of his lips, without even opening his eyes.
“Daddy!” she said, slightly louder. “Daddy, it’s important.” No answer. Her young face scrunched up in frustration and her eyebrows furrowed. “Daddy!” Again, he did nothing but doze on. “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!”
She was almost shouting now, bouncing up and down, her bob of curly hair bouncing off her back. Somehow, he continued to snooze. With an exasperated groan, she laid her chin on the mattress edge and let out a puff of air that sent a stray curl flying behind her face.
She reached forward with her hand, placing a finger atop her father’s softly snoring nose.
“Daddy, wake up or I’ll poke your nose really hard,” she threatened. When he didn’t answer, she pressed her finger against it as hard as she could, but her hand slipped and her finger jabbed his eye.
“YOW!” The man shot bolt upright, startling the woman next to him awake, and causing Sara to jump back in fright, hiding behind the mattress with only her eyes showing and the ends of her fingers gripping the edge.
“Sara!” he roared in anger.
“Waz…what’s going on…?” her mother mumbled.
“I’m sorry!” Sara squeaked. “I didn’t mean to! You wouldn’t wake up so I told you I’d poke your nose if you didn’t get up but you still didn’t wake up and-and I-I I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”
“Uggh, it’s okay sweetie,” he muttered, rubbing his right eye in pain and reaching around blindly with his left hand, trying to find his daughter’s head. “There you are. Come here sweetheart…”
“I’m sorry,” she repeated, grabbing onto her father’s large hand with one of her small ones and using the other to clamber onto the bed beside him.
“Really, it’s all right. You just startled me is all. I had a late night at work yesterday.”
“I had to tell you something important.”
“And what would that be, honey?” Her mother entered the conversation, speaking lightly and with a sweetness that came naturally.
“I’m five now!” she cried happily, with no introduction.
“And what a grown up five-year-old you’ve become. I can see you’ve got yourself dressed for the occasion?”
“Yes, and I think my sandals are too small now. I must be growing.” She beamed.
“They might fit a little better if they’re on the right feet,” Allen, her father, pointed out.
Sara’s smile turned into a frown.
“I tried,” she said flatly.
“I know you did,” he replied. “Try to fix them.”
“I tried to get it right,” Sara repeated, undoing the buckles and pulling them off.
“Don’t be hard on yourself. We know you tried and you even got those tricky buckles right.” Laura pulled a brush from her bedside drawer and quickly redid Sara’s ponytail with ease as her daughter attempted to fix her simple mistake.
“And we might need to fix that dress, too,” Allen added, looking at the tag that showed at Sara’s chest.
“It looks the same on both sides,” Sara offered in defense, placing her sandals on the right feet.
“So…” Laura cut in, changing the subject from Sara’s honest, everyday five-year-old mix-ups. “What would you like to eat for your birthday breakfast?”
Sara sighed as she carefully did the buckles on her shoes. “Can I have pancakes, please?”
“Of course you can…” Laura said, smiling. She reached forward for Sara’s head, pulled it to her lips and kissed her temple. She then placed a tender kiss on the cheek of her husband, peeling the blankets from herself and easing out of bed. She headed out the door and to the kitchen.
Silence ensued as Sara finished up the last of her buckles. Allen reached out and peeled the dress off, turning it right side out as he went. He then put it in the right direction and pulled it back over Sara’s head.
“I tried to get dressed right.”
“You put the perfume on nicely,” Allen noted, buttoning the red buttons in back.
“I did it just like Grandma Taylor said.”
“And it smells wonderful.”
Sara grinned, then reached her arms forward and hugged her father tightly around the neck
“I’m sorry I poked your eye.”
His smooth, freshly shaven cheek brushed against Sara’s and she breathed in the musty scent of his hair.
He patted her affectionately on the shoulder, then replied, “It’s okay, sweetheart.”
They hung there for a moment until the scent of freshly cooking pancakes wafted in.
“Hey, Sara,” Allen whispered into her ear.
“What?” she whispered back.
“Guess what sneaks out every once in awhile when it’s really, really hungry, just to eat little girls like you.”
Sara choked on a giggle and pulled away quickly.
“What?” she managed through an impending laugh.
“The…the…TICKLE BUG! AH! Run! Quick! Into the kitchen where Mom can protect you!” he yelled, pulling out his hands, hooking them together at the thumbs and waggling his fingers around like some mutant spider.
Sara screamed and hopped off the bed, sprinting out into the kitchen where Laura had set out a plate of pancakes, one special one in the shape of a smiley face.
~*~
A half hour or so later the family sat at the kitchen table, empty, syrup covered plates in front of each person. Laura was slowly wiping sticky syrup from Sara’s fingers and face with a damp dishrag. The sounds of people loading into their cars and driving off for work leaked in through the front door.
“So,” Laura began, tossing the dishrag over to Allen who was heading to the sink with the stack of dishes. “Since we gave you your birthday presents at Grandma Taylor’s house, we’ve decided that for your birthday we’ll take you somewhere. Anywhere you like.”
Sara, who had been watching a group of birds outside, turned her face to the empty plate in front of her, thinking. “Can I go to the beach?”
“Actually, honey, it’s probably best if you go somewhere inside, like the bookstore,” Allen offered.
.“Well I’d like to go to the beach.”
“It’s supposed to rain, sweetheart.”
“It’s sunny outside!” Sara cried, and she was right.
“But the weatherman said today that it’ll get cloudy very soon and then it will rain really hard.”
Sara frowned.
“But you said—”
“Okay, okay! We’ll go to the beach…but you have to promise not to whine when we have to go somewhere else out of the rain.”
“I promise.”
Allen cut in again from the sink where he stood washing dishes. “Now what do you say to your mother?”
“Thank you Mommy!” She crawled into her lap and gave her a tight squeeze. “I’ll go get the beach blanket from the garage.” And she scampered off through the front door.
~*~
“Do you think we’ll see the seals like we did when we went fishing?”
“I don’t see why not,” Allen replied, pulling the blanket out of the trunk of their tan station wagon and handing it to Sara, who struggled under its weight. “They’ve been here every time we’ve gone.”
“They’re really cute,” Sara declared, turning on her heel and heading across the deserted asphalt parking lot. Scattered clouds shielded the sun, beams of yellow shining from behind them. When she reached the sand, she walked a few more yards before setting the blanket down and unfolding it. Laura joined her, holding onto a small cooler filled with water and snacks and behind her, Allen held onto a camera.
Sara sat down on the blanket and looked out at the crashing waves.
“Smile, Sara,” Allen ordered.
She turned and grinned at the camera as he took her photo.
“Good one,” he said, sitting beside her, as Laura also sat on the blanket.
“Daddy, I want a piggy back ride,” Sara stated, not quite as an order, but as more of a suggestion.
“Alright…” He squatted, pulled Sara onto his back, and stood up. “Let’s head over to the water, see if we can’t see those seals.”
Sara nodded, her chin resting on her shoulder, her arms resting gently around his neck—she knew he wouldn’t let her fall. He plodded through the sand in his sandals, before reaching the place where wet sand met dry.
“Daddy, I see them! I see them!” Sara said excitedly, pointing at the numerous harbor seals along a different shore across the bay. Their brown fur was shimmering, and their loud barks just barely reached the lone family on the beach.
“I do too,” he said softly. “Sara, you want to play airplane?”
“Yes!” she exclaimed, even as Allen eased her from his back into the crook of his arm.
He put on a crackly voice and said, “And we have takeoff!” He walked towards the waves, slowly swinging Sara back and forth as she held her arms out.
The cool, salty water sprayed Sara’s face as she moved forward, her father’s legs going further and further into the bay until they were knee deep. He continued to swing her until a particularly large wave came and splashed into Sara’s face, causing her to sputter and flail wildly.
“Hey, hey, hey!” he said, lifting her up as she scrambled. “Hey, you’re okay! Sara, you’re alright!”
She continued to cough, taking in shuddering breaths.
“I couldn’t breathe,” she choked, trying to clear her throat more effectively.
“You’re fine. You just breathed in some water.”
“I want to go back to Mommy.”
“Okay.”
Allen trudged slowly back to shore, holding Sara over his shoulder.
“Somebody looked like they were a little frightened,” Laura noted cheerily when they reached her. “Smile!” she exclaimed, holding the camera up. Sara smiled as best she could, with a little tickling help from Allen.
“Ah, Sara just got a mouthful of water.”
“Did you like the water, sweetie?”
Sara sat down on the blanket and cuddled up to her mother who was leaning back on two hands. “No, not really…it was really cold.”
“It usually is, especially when it’s not summertime.”
Sara sighed and buried herself into Laura’s side. She picked at a seashell in the sand as Allen munched on a bag of chips from the cooler. As they sat there quietly for several minutes, the sky slowly darkened. Then suddenly thunder rolled and the sky broke, letting forth the raindrops that saturated it.
Sara moaned angrily.
“We haven’t even been here that long!” she cried, folding her arms and pouting.
“We warned you Sara,” Laura said as she stood. “Get to the car.”
Sara sighed and stormed to the parking lot, thrusting open the car door and climbing into her car seat. Laura buckled her in as Allen piled in the cooler, blanket and camera back inside the trunk.
The rain was coming down harder now and lightning flashed past the dark clouds. Allen turned the engine over and pulled out of the lot as Sara sat frowning in the backseat. Laura reached a hand back and rubbed Sara’s knee comfortingly.
“If you want, sweetie, we can go down to O’Neil’s bookstore and get you a new book. I’m sure Mr. O’Neil would give you one cheaper than usual since it’s your birthday.”
“I want to.”
Laura smiled and pulled her hand back into her lap, looking out the front window.
“Thank you for taking me to the beach like I wanted,” Sara said quietly, staring out her rain-splashed windowpane.
“Anything for you Sara,” Allen said absentmindedly as thunder clapped heavily in the distance. “You know we love you.”
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