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Young Writers Society


The Return (contest entry).



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Tue Jun 14, 2011 10:37 pm
gsppcrocks10 says...



Your story is about a composer in a house attacking YWS.

This would be longer but there was a word count limit. xD My document says exactly 1,000 words. Depending on how much people like it/beg me I might make a longer version.

----------

PROLOGUE

Freakforchrist.

If you don’t recognize this name, chances are you haven’t been around YWS that long. Either that or you’re terribly uninformed of the goings-on of YWS.

After Freakforchrist was defeated by Nate the Great when he tried to take over YWS with emo angst and emo tears by crashing the Completely Evil Radio Show, he went into hiding and hasn’t been seen or heard of since.

… As far as we know.

THE BEGINNING

“I’ll get them this time,” the teenager said, adjusting his dyed black hair so that it better covered his face; it made him look quite brooding and mysterious. His eyes were lined with black makeup, and his face was pale; nobody could really tell if it was natural or if he powdered it daily. His slash of a mouth had been in a frown so long that the muscles in his lips seemed to have grown into it; he didn’t smile anymore. A pair of his little sister’s skinny jeans (ripped at the knees), fingerless gloves, and a torn up band shirt completed the look. Sitting on his lap was a black MacBook. He had just finished with the last of five hundred emo songs, with music to go with them. Soon he would post every one of them on YWS on Nate the Great’s account, and add more as he went. Soon all of the works would be choked out with his sadness and depression, and people would follow the Webmaster’s example. And since he was going to be gone on a trip, there would be NO ONE to stop him.

It was perfect.

He would have erupted into evil laughter, but unfortunately emos don’t laugh. He just stared at the screen, waiting.

---

Nate the Great was at his computer, poring over some entries for the latest YWS contest; it was the biggest contest ever to grace YWS, and Nate the Great had needed to break every piggy bank he had to scrape together enough money for the prizes. But he’d done it, and now it was well underway. There was a plate of pasta next to the keyboard, with sliced up bananas, pineapple, and chicken in it. It might seem odd to most normal people, but after all, Nate the Great didn’t get to be Nate the Great without being a bit different.

He turned off his computer and took a few very large bites of his pasta before packing the leftovers into a Tupperware and sticking it in his bag. Then he ran outside and into a waiting cab.

---

At that moment, Nate the Great’s icon on YWS changed to a wrist with red lettering on it saying “life sucks”. It was badly photoshopped to make it look like blood. Seconds later, an angsty emo poem was posted, and then made a featured work. Followed by another. Then the YWS banner became black, woeful, and brooding.

Snoink frowned, staring at the main page. What on earth was wrong with Nate the Great? Most of the time he didn’t condone stuff like this on the site…

She took a deep breath. “TO THE BIG BROTHER CAVE!” she shouted. She ran into a closet and pushed a button. The wall spun around and she arrived in a small room. It was shiny chrome and full of awesome-looking chairs, a long conference table, and loads of buttons and instruments. She took a seat next to the head of the table and pushed a large red button.

The reaction was immediate. Twelve people suddenly entered from various places around the room, some down a fire pole by the wall, others up through a hole in the floor, and others still straight through the vending machines. JabberHut came through the elevator with a young woman clinging to his leg. She was dressed as a pirate, with a ninja mask on.

Snoink groaned. “Jabber, I told you not to let any of the JMs in!”

“Sorry,” Jabber whined, “but she glued herself to my leg.”

She sighed. “Alright, alright, she can stay.” She glared down at the girl. “I’ll deal with you later.”

The girl giggled. “I can be a secret agent for real now.”

“Everyone have a seat,” Snoink said. They did so, Jabber having a bit of trouble with maneuvering due to having a JM on his leg.

“Something’s wrong with Nate the Great.”

---

The members of the Big Brother squad talked an argued for hours, trying to figure out what was going on. Hope, (of course it was her), remained on Jabber’s leg, listening halfway.

Nobody expected the JM to say anything.

“HEY, HEY GUYS!” she screamed, “WHAT IF IT’S FREAKFORCHRIST?!”

Dead silence.

“… That could be it,” Snoink admitted.

---

Freakforchrist grinned, uploading another emo song. Only a few more to go. The entire YWS community seemed to be in a panic; frantic comments in the Questions and Answers section, as well as the Information Desk and other places, had overloaded the site. Freakforchrist grinned. He was working on typing up a sticky post for every forum.

“ANYTHING THAT ISN’T EMO AND ANGSTY WILL BE DELETED. ANY USER FOUND POSTING ANYTHING HAPPY WILL BE BANNED.” Laced into the post was a virus that would infect anyone who read the thread's computers to play only music by Bullet for my Valentine and Smashing Pumpkins.

He was just about to hit “Post”, when the door burst open.

Hope was standing there, an iPod in her hand. The members of Big Brother were standing behind her, looking apprehensive. She gave a rather frightening grin. “Drop the MacBook and no one gets hurt.”

Freakforchrist jumped violently. He glared at her. “Make me,” he snapped.

Hope shrugged and turned on the iPod. It started playing Sunshine Lollipops and Rainbows at full blast.

Freakforchrist screamed and dropped to the ground, clutching his head. “NO! MAKE IT STOP! I’M SORRY! YOU WIN! I WON’T ATTACK YWS ANYMORE!” He started to cry.

Hope grinned. “Oh yeah, I’m AWESOME.”

THE END
Last edited by gsppcrocks10 on Fri Jun 17, 2011 10:25 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Just another quack spouting psychobabble.

"If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm mad. That's the way history is written."
  





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Wed Jun 15, 2011 9:01 am
Cotton says...



hey!! I'm back baby, and I PROMISE I'm not freakforchrist in disguise :P (she said, pretending to be in on the YWS goings on and probably failing miserably, due to her not being in on the YWS going on.)

OK, so LOL. LMAO. ROFL. and chuckles. Utterly hilarious, and I only had to stop to correct something ONCE (which I will gleefully tell you about in a second) and it made me LAUGH because everything else WAS PERFECT IN EVERY WAY. and that is why I will have to kill you... xD

So here is the thing you got WRONG!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA (even though it's not that wrong, it's just not "technically" right although millions of squillions of people do it, including the supposedly perfect presenters of the BBC news. yes I'm english english, and that might have some bearing on our views on this point.)

Laced into the post was a virus that would infect anyone who read the thread’s computers to only play music by Bullet for My Valentine and Smashing Pumpkins.

Technically, TECHNICALLY, it's not right to put "to only play" because "to play" is the infinitive and putting something in the middle makes it a split infinitive, something which my father regularly shouts at me about, and something that feels odd when you first start using it but gradually it feels more and more natural; to the point where now, when someone says it on TV or on the radio, my mother and I do that comical intake-of-breath thing and scowl angrily. :P
In this situation, I would suggest doing it this way around: "would infect anyone who read the thread's computers to play only music by Bullet for my Valentine and Smashing Pumpkins."

And now: it's officially perfect. Nice one :D :D :D

~*cottonrulz*~
Here's a story of a brother by the name of Othello,
He liked white women and he liked - green jello... - Reduced Shakespeare Company
  





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Wed Jun 15, 2011 2:35 pm
gsppcrocks10 says...



YAY, A REVIEW!

Thanks. :D *edits*
Just another quack spouting psychobabble.

"If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm mad. That's the way history is written."
  





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Fri Jun 17, 2011 10:24 pm
Snoink says...



it was the biggest contest ever to grace YWS’ website <-- YWS' should be YWS's. Or you can just say "YWS" and delete "website." That might work really well as well! Plus, you have another word available to fit another "woe" in. Because you can never have enough woe!

Also, I think this story is very sad. POOR PIGGY BANKS! :'(
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  





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Fri Jun 17, 2011 10:26 pm
gsppcrocks10 says...



I know. D: It was terrible. NATE HOW COULD YOU?!
Just another quack spouting psychobabble.

"If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm mad. That's the way history is written."
  








you ever say spidgit finner unironically?
— FireEyes