Young Writers Society

Ok, Found this story very entertaining. Why? Because it combines two of my favorite things: Harry Potter and cookies!!
Seeing as this is a joke I don't really have anything bad to say about it. Keep writing!

I wants a cookie .
I like the humor you and your friends put into the story and I like how vlodermort and harry were acting kind of childish. There were a few spelling mistakes but that was the only problem I saw.


I still wants a cookie....

Great short. I loved how you refereed to Voldemort as "Voldie".

Oh my gods! A cookie and Harry Potter!?! If only Ron were there....hahah. Anyway it was really cute and funny. I would just edit the ending a little. Maybe make it a bit more clear? I kind of got the gist of what happened but it would be nice if you made it detailed. Go Harry Potter! Woo! haha

-Kels

this is really good.

umm... okay...
It was hilarious! Al little weird, but hilarious.
...

LMAO this is friking HILARIOUS

Harry Potter and Voldemort fighting over a cookie. EPIC


I Just thought that is Harry supposed to be looking for Ginny instead ?

Ha-Ha, this was funny, it had it's flaws and faults and I don't like how you call Voldemort "Voldie" all of a sudden. It would've been fun if Harry spoke to his with that nickname but the person who tells the story shouldn't use nicknames like that. I'm not gonna point out every little mistake I can find since previous reviewers has done most of that already, I wanna point out this little thing though; "Give me it" I think this line sounds a bit weird... "Give it to me" would sound better and more stubborn if you know what I mean ^^ Overall, Nice job!

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness

Do you know how awsome this is? Well, I guess you probably do, but I just have to say it. This is amazing. Keep on keepin' on!

Hi there!

So, there's two reasons I decided to read this:

1. It's about Harry Potter
2. I liked the title.

I read this through and really enjoyed it! It was funny and sort of childish, but in a good way. One thing I have to comment on, though is the fact that you called Voldemort Voldie. I know you said you wrote this for fun, but I think you should still stick to the real names of the characters. That's all.

Overall I really enjoyed reading this! Very funny. Keep writing!

It was a cute story. Just a suggestion but maybe adding a prequel to it about how Voldemort got the cookie would be fun. Like for instance if one of his Death Eaters was munching on cookies at a Revel and the ensueing hilarity begins. Just a thought. Anyhow, I do agree with the others with the spelling and grammar. More detail would be nice. As log as its relevant, it can be as crazy as you want it to be and it will still flow. Personally I thought Hermione was out of character but thats the beauty of fanfiction. I liked the touch of Harry calling Voldemort 'Voldie'. It just shows how reckless he is and is further illustrated in the story.

Hello. I am new here so I hope I'm doing this right-haha!
Anyways, I loved the concept.
Theres something quite clever about bringing up food between Harry and Voldemort. I think we fans sometimes wonder about the small things like that. Whether Voldie eats or Harry uses to bathroom. So I thought taking a simple idea and turning it into a short story, especially about a cookie, was an awesome idea!
The only thing I would suggest is try expanding your sentences a tad more. When you make them so short and simple, its makes things go too fast, and although you want it to be a "short story" you want it to be memorable; and shortening things sounds like listing sometimes.
Other than that, I really liked the concept and thought it was super cute!
Thanks for the lovely read. =]

LOL. Unserious, but good for the lulz.

It is funny, ironic, really good. But could be more descriptive, for example, you could write some spells, maybe create new ones. Also, you could explore Hermione's presence at the scene. Like, before Voldemort appear, she could say " I want a cookie". For some reason it reminds me of that scene from the "Deathly Hallows", part 2, when she pretends to be Bellatrix. Anyway, great story.