I have read the scene a few times andi believe this to be a real, true to heart representation of what Edward and Bella were supposed to do during the cafe scene in Port Angeles. If you do not agree, then go and read some more bad literature. Enjoy!
“A table for two?” Edward said in a voice that was very alluring and seductive. The hostess flashed her eyelids in an attempt for him to notice her. He was looking at me, and I gripped his arm tighter. Just because Edward was unconditionally perfect and constantly dazzling doesn’t mean any random is allowed to fall in love with him.
She led us to a table, but Edward wouldn’t allow me to sit. “No…” He said, his voice even more attractive than it was a minute ago. “I was hoping for something more… private.”
“Sure.” She looked almost as surprised as I did, like she couldn’t believe two teenagers would want to be alone together. She shot me a look that was laced with a lethal poison. I looked back at Edward, keen not only to avoid her gaze of malicious, spiteful, venomous toxin, but to bask in his chiselled jaw and perfect features.
Needless to say, Edward’s dazzling power made her show us to a private table in the back immediately. “Your server will be right out.” She gave Edward another fleeting look, desperate for some eye contact, maybe to convince her that he was real, and this god was truly walking among us.
He wouldn’t look, though, because he was enveloped in gazing at my face. I didn’t want to hide my face in shame, though. Because even though I’ve never had a boyfriend before, I am absolutely flawless. If only Edward would stop staring at me, so I could look upon his stone-beautiful face once more without feeling awkward.
“You shouldn’t dazzle people,” I said after a minute’s silence. “It’s rude, you know. I believe that I should be the only person allowed to look at you.”
“Do I...? Do I dazzle you?” He asked incredulously.
“Frequently,” I spluttered out, even though my throat was dry. I couldn’t seem to get any short, perfectly fine words out.
“Oh, really?” He twisted his face to show some emotion, something of which I had not thought possible. His face was so like stone, I thought that only his pompous lips and feathery eyelashes would move. “I didn’t notice you staring at me like I was a god, over all the times that we’ve met.” And of course, I believed him, silently congratulating myself at how sneaky I had been, while being totally obvious at the same time.
“Forgiven.” Anything he did would be forgiven. With a face as stone like as that and as chiselled as that, what could he possibly do to hurt anyone?
The waiter came and he ordered ten drinks for me, mushroom ravioli and some breadsticks. She came back a second later, juggling them all on her hand, placing them on the table while some of the other guests, who had been here longer, cried out in hunger.
“Do you feel sick or anything?” he asked me once the waiter had disappeared.
“No, why should I?” I asked dubiously.
“Because anyone normal, which you obviously aren’t because you’re so stunningly perfect in every way, would be in shock right now from seeing something as amazing as my face,” he summed up.
“I don’t think that will happen,” I said after I could breathe again. I had been so lost in his crooked smile that I forgot to do something that my body does naturally. Wow… Edward was really dangerous for me! “I’ve always been good at repressing unpleasant things.”
“Drink,” He ordered in a sweet and charming tone. It was a serious order – he feared that I would dehydrate as much as I feared I would stop breathing again – but yet it became the most important thing in the world to me. How could I refuse a stone-cold face like that?
Even though I had insisted I was not the tiniest part thirsty a few seconds ago, I sucked down the ten glasses without stopping. He watched me like I was the most fascinating thing in the world.
I shivered, and he immediately said, “Are you cold?” and before waiting for my answer he took off his jacket and passed it over the table for me. I shivered even more ferociously and it soon became inadvertent that he was trying to freeze me to death. It was like his jacket had just been lying on an ice cap for a few hours, but I didn’t mind.
I sniffed at it, smelling in the twenty different colognes that he had used. It smelled delicious. I coughed but he didn’t seem to notice I was choking on his scent. I didn’t, either, because it was such a pleasant, finicky, and fastidious aroma to waft through my nostrils, brushing the hairs with their perfectness.
“You smell delicious!” I commented, choking again on his overpowering smell.
“This is going to be harder than I thought.” He ignored me, but that only made him more attractive to me.
“You’re in a better mood when your eyes are a shimmering gold,” I said. “Usually.”
“What?” he doubled back. “You noticed that!”
“Of course. How couldn’t I, getting lost in them so frequently that I know them off by heart?” I spluttered, my dry throat once again rendering me unable to say anything less than over the top.
“You have some questions to ask me?” He said, completely out of the blue, but knowing that the author can’t stand anything so pathetic.
“Yeah… how did you know where I was tonight?”
“I took it upon myself to protect you from the moment I saw you, because I knew that you’re a complete idiot and you can’t save yourself, while always complaining in narrative that everyone depends on you.”
“Really?” I said, thinking of how he was taking a special interest in me. “You’ve been stalking me? Thank you so much! I’ve always wanted to have some 118 year old guy watch me while I sleep… I presume you’ve gone the full way, and have been following me everywhere?” I was reeling at the thought. Could this date have revealed anything more perfect?
“Naturally. All this time, while I’ve been warning you to stay away from me, I’ve taken it upon myself not to let you out of my sight. Oh, and I can read minds, too. Just so you know… for, uh, future reference.
“You’ve been watching me sleep?” I sighed.
“Oh, and you should know that I’m a vampire, and If we ever kiss I’ll rip you to shreds like a chid tearing up napkins,” he said, drawing closer. “I was going to murder those guys back there, but then I thought I shouldn’t so I overpowered my uber-powerful animal instincts just so I could be with you. You honestly don’t know how hard that was for me. I had to remember how to count to ten!”
“Aww! That’s so sweet!” I said.
“Are you ready to go now?” He asked me completely out of the blue.
“Yeah, sure. I need to get back to Charlie, because you know how reliant he is on me. I can’t believe he’s managed to live by himself for 14 years without having someone microwave meals for him! And I should E-mail my mother, who’s imaginably clingy for a mother of a teen. I should probably tell her to get a life, but she’s been terminally ill ever since I’ve been able to look after her. Again, before me, it seems a miracle she could manage!”
They leave and Edward ends up ripping her to shreds in the car BECAUSE HE CAN! I mean, he’s an animal. If you were able to, why wouldn’t you tear Bella’s vocal chords out?
You never put the end quotation mark; like I said, typo. 
Ellie
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