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(HoN Fan Fic)The Secret Daughter Of proffesor Blake



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Gender: Female
Points: 1105
Reviews: 19
Wed Feb 24, 2010 7:17 am
Amira15 says...



This post is specifically for editing! so edit my work please!
Its based on The house House of night Novels by P.C CAst!

I'm sure When Neferet gave the news about Professor Blake Being Dead! I didn't believe her. Because I knew that him being dead would mean my father was dead. Poor him. I never really knew him. He never even knew I existed. That was good for me I guess. Then I could have watched him, observe him, meet him on different terms. I remember the night I tried revealing my identity to him. I remember so clearly How I chose my words in my head

"Hello Professor Blake, sixteen years ago you were married to An Ellie Hillburry,Then you were Marked as a Vampyre before she even got a chance to tell you she was pregnant. Then you left her. You left us."
I Knew He would ask me How I ended up inside of The House Of night.

I would Have said.........

"Two Years ago the Goddess Nyx,also marked me.......I feel she wants father and daughter to Reunite." I would have said "I'm Emilina Blake, Your Daughter."

Now of course I don't believe that now, because when I followed him, I found him with a student,Zoey RedBird, in a disgraceful predicament. I turned and ran away troubled. I thought Nyx was Reuniting us. I thought how could my Father do this to me. As I was leaving I saw another student, Eric Night, headed for them. I could have stopped him. I knew he was dating Zoey,but I didn't stop him. I kept walking. he walked right passed me. Naturally he didn't notice. I'm never noticed.

It wasn't exactly how I pictured my reunion with my father. But that started the rest of the drama that came to The house of night.
Not being Noticed came in handy to me,lurking in the shadows and the crowds. I learned so much and it wasn't from my teachers of school books.






I went to my dorm after what i saw that night. I turned my lights Off and opened my window and prayed.......
"This has to be different,it cant be what you always wanted,Nyx,I thought you wanted my father to be reunited with me." I thought.
Then I heard something outside of my window.
it sounded like Zoey,screaming.
She was calling after Eric. I felt i a small pinge of regret hit me.
I felt as though i had something to do with them breaking up. I couldn't have,I wasn't the naughty girl sleeping with a teacher.

Yes i remembered that night perfectly.
I also remembered Neferet called a memorial gathering for all the deaths that have occurred.Because my Father wasn't the Only one apart of The HON teacher Massacre
I don't like Neferet much.
I think it's mostly because i found her doing the dirty with my father also.
She seemed to not like Zoey much either,which was something i never got,because i always thought she was Neferets protege.But i found out that,The Priestess used my Father to destroy Zoey.While everyone at school thought she was perfect her closest friends seemed to hate her,and i I think I was the only one who saw.
The night of the memorial service,the Aura felt wrong all terribly wrong.
I hated it,not only because it disgusted me but because i believed it kept me from crying. Crying for my Father....who i never knew.


The real problem started a few days later,after that James Stark (whom i love)came to The Tulsa HON.
I myself am an exceptionally great archer. I loved him! he was a movie star to me until his death. a few Hours before he died i got this bad creepy feeling in the air.Like a Nyx was waring the whole HON but i was the only one who heard it. At least i thought until i saw Zoey Redbird walking alone from the stables. I felt like something was above her but i couldn't see anything. so i hid because the omen i felt wasn't a good one.
I heard Zoey call out"hello, Who's there?"
I thought she knew i was there i was about to reveal myself,when i heard a screech,it was a cross between a lion and a crow screaming.
it seemed like Zoey was flying for a moment,but i realized she was being carried............
I ran away before i knew what happened because it scared me half to death and i was afraid it would come after me what ever it was.

Of coarse that night i was afraid that i had left Zoey alone for dead(this time physically) again.

but i saw her at dinner ,sitting with her friends and Stark,fine and dandy. So that small pinge went away.
That incident with Zoey wasn't the only scary thing that Happened that night...............







I was distraught! stark was dead and i saw it happen with my own eyes.............
You can call Me Zoey Stalker ever since I found her with my father,sure the first few times were coincidence, but I had to keep following her I had to keep watching her....its like Nyx told me to watch her. Like she wanted me to know something.
When I saw zoey in the cafeteria, i watched her,When she left I followed her,ofcoarse when I saw her with James stark I was furious.All I thought was. "first my father now my hero(and possible future husband)?" They were talking. I guess they thought they were alone because, I heard every word, about starks gift,and zoey's problems with her friends, and the promise they made before his death. I have to admit my heart was racing,his death was so shocking it hurt. I felt like a true Micheal fan when he died. I felt like I could die too.
but I had to keep it together even tho tears were gushing from my eyes, I felt zoey call affinities to her I smelled it in the air it surrounded me. That meant her friends were coming. I had to leave qickly or i would have been seen but I heard zoey speaking to stark. I stopped
"there's a way u can come back,fledglings around here seem to come back. as red fledglings" I heard her say
" Red fledglings?" I whispered to myself"
I heard footsteps, i was too late in my departure,i was going to get caught.
I prayed to Nyx "please sheild me with the shadows. make me not to be seen, hide me in the shadows!"

Damien and Jack ran right passed me.
Ofcourse I didnt need Nyx to for me not to be seen. I was never seen.
I left them and walked back to my room. Thinking about what zoey said. Red Fledglings.
I touched the outlined Blue cresent on my forhead. I thought about Fledglings dying and comming to life. All of it sounded impossible. I opened my door and took my coat off. My roommate,Red, was sitting on her bad brushing her hair, in the dark.
"why are you in the dark ?" I said.
she gave me no answer i walked over to her lamp and turned it on.
"WOAAH AAAH WHAT THE!!! Em!! dont scare me like that!!!" She yelled
"what are you talking about? I just asked you why were you brushing your hair in the dark?" I said
"No, No you didnt........ Em I didnt even here you come into the room, then you just popped up infront of me when my light turned on! you have no idea how scary that is!"
I looked at my roomate confused,how is it that she couldnt see me when I was standing infront of her,what was she thinking about that had her preoccupied that she couldnt here me.
" I'm sorry you must have been thinking about something and didnt here me."I said.
"yeah that must've been it." She said then she started to smile.
"Em! You know I had the best time with proffessor Anistasia!"
"You did?" I said non-caringly,while taking off my boots.
I think she sensed I had something else on my mind so she stopped smiling.
"but I'll tell you tomorrow cuz you look tired."
I looked at her,she's only been here for a few days and already proffessor Anastasia has taken her under her wing. Other than that, i'm her the closest thing to a best frien here. I think its cuz she saw me when everyone else didnt. ThANK NYX!
"I'm sorry Red I do wanna know but you know me too wellIi'm tired i didnt get to do archery practice today, my roses are late blooming, and I feel like my hero just died!"
she started laughing. I wasnt cuz it was true.
"Its o-kay,just rest evrything will be so much better tomorrow." She said to me.
She finished brushing her hair then turned off her lamp.
it was dark in the room again.
I laid down on my bed, thinking about everything thats been happening,and it all seeme to revolve around Zoey redbird. What was that about?
Then for some reason i started thinking about why Damien and jack couldnt see me,and why red of all people couldnt see me,
Maybe nyx answere my prayer to hide me in the shaddows. I smile at the thought.
Yeah right!




I woke up the next morning of evening,with a killer head ache. Red was getting out of the shower.
"Hey sleepy head you over slept you should get up classes start in10."
I jumped up,"why didnt you wake me!" i said rummaging through my drawers
"I thought you were gone already i mean u always leave me. Hey did you here though? James Stark is dead."

I looked at her like she suspected me of already knowng.
"No i didnt; what? when? how?" I said with my best acting of panic.


"Calm Down Em, i know he's like your hero but yeah he passed last night it was such mysterious death everyones saying."
" I guess its bad luck coming to the Tulsa houe of night" I said.
"Yeah but, hey, you better get dressed we got drama class up first! and I would give anything to see that young hot poffessor again."

"His name is Eric Night and he used to be a student here no to long ago. They need him to fill in for my- uh for professor Blake." I said stopping myself.
"Yea so hurry hurry so we can slip into class without being seen!" She said Like I needed help not being seen,but yesterday was crazy did Nyx really hide me in the shaddows?










Please Edit For me if anyone has time cuz i dont! Thanx!
Pour your heart out to a pen and Paper,You'll find that sometimes there the Only ones who understand.


-Me,Amira Got YWS!
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 1836
Reviews: 245
Tue Mar 02, 2010 9:21 pm
Firearris says...



Hey Amira!

Ah, yes. I've read this series. *Glances at HoN books on shelf*

Anyways, I think some things in this don't seem like they would happen, for example. Erik substituting for Blake? I don't think he'd really be the person to do so. He'd probably teach the Drama class and such, but not poetry. And another thing is that if I recall correctly, the vampires get marked while they are teenagers, would Loren Blake really have had a kid as a teenager? I mean, it happens, but it's not as likely. But I do like your idea! Another thing that needs to be worked on is your punctuation and grammar. I'm not going to place the correct punctuation and such for the entire story, but I'll give you an example before moving on to other things.

When Neferet gave the news that Professor Blake had been killed, I didn't believe her. Because I knew that him being dead would mean my father was dead. Poor him. I never really knew him, he never even knew I existed; that was good for me I guess. Then I could watch him, observe him, meet him on different terms. I remember the night I tried revealing my identity to him, I remember so clearly how I chose my words in my head.


Okay, see that first paragraph? Well, a few things. The first sentence doesn't really makes sense, maybe attempt rewording it? I think you should maybe combine the first two sentences somehow...In bold I gave my own suggestion. You also capitalized words in the first sentence that didn't need capitalization. My corrections are in bold. Now, you need to fix up your story kind of how I fixed up that paragraph. The story idea itself is good, but it's mostly just punctuation and such that needs to be fixed. If you do that you could post it again, all fixed up, and get critiques on what needs to be fixed after that has been fixed; because right now the punctuation stands out so much people can't really see what else needs to be fixed or how could the story really could be.

I'd continue this critique if I could, but I have to go now! Good luck and let me know what you end up doing with this, I like it. :)

~Firearris
[Griffinkeeper] 10:45 pm: The guard appears "We have weasels now!"
[Firearris] 10:45 pm: askes the guard for the weasel!
[Griffinkeeper] 10:45 pm: The guard gives Firearris the Weasel.
[Firearris] 10:46 pm: aquires the weasel and renames it "Cat"

Take that, Lumi.
  








i like that the title of dr jekyll and mr hyde makes a clear stance that the embodiment of one’s own evil doesn’t get a claim to the doctorate
— waywardxwallflower