z

Young Writers Society


I Would Endure



Do you think this was good an should I continue this?

Yes it was well written, but you should not continue it
1
50%
Yes it was well written and you should continue it
1
50%
It was not well written but you should continue it
0
No votes
It was not well written and you should not continue it
0
No votes
Yes it was well written
0
No votes
No it was not well written
0
No votes
It was terrible
0
No votes
 
Total votes : 2


User avatar
336 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 805
Reviews: 336
Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:09 am
Jas says...



This is a twilight fanfic I wrote two years ago when I was uber-obssesed with the series. I loved (notice the lovED) Rosalie for what she had gone through so I randomly decided about her thoughts on the babies birth and how she was so protective of Bella because of the baby and how she thought that Bella was going to die and she would have the baby. So yeah....I know there are mispellings and little annoyances but come on, I was 11. :)



"She survived", Edward said. The dead, frightened look that had lived in his golden eyes for the past two months had disappeared. He was looking anxiously at Bella and then turned toward Carlisle(sp?).

"She will survive this..I know she will", he said confidently, the crooked smile Bella loved brightening his face.

"Edward, I am happy to say that your daughter is healthy and Bella is being changed right now. I'm pretty sure the morphine we gave her is diluting the pain as we speak.", Carlisle said, while looking over to Bella and cradling the baby.

"Thank God", Alice said. Jasper and Emmett nodded in agreement, light smiles also residing on their faces.

"Where is Rosalie, Emmett?", Esme asked.

"She said she needed to be alone for a while. Dunno why..", Emmett replied.

I looked down at them from the stairs. My family. My family that was so damn happy that she lived. Bella. What was so special about her. She was clumsy and human. She broke Edward's heart twice. She could have ruined our family's secret. The only good thing that came out of her, was the baby. The lovely baby. Sigh. Even that isn't mine. So unfair. The stupid human got it all. Of course she wouldn't be human for much longer.

I walked up the stairs as fast as I could, while being impossibly quiet. I ran into Emmet's and my room and punched the wall. I thought she wouldn't survive and I could claim the baby as my own and take care of it. In a sick way, I was hoping she would die. In a sick way, I hoped Edward wouldn't get over her death and run away, like he did two years ago. Then the baby would be mine. All mine.

The only thing I ever wanted was a baby. Lots of them. I wanted to hold and love them forever. Then he took it away from me. Royce King. The bastard. Killing him was fun. The wedding dress was a special touch. He screamed a lot. He deserved it.

It was so unfair. That she got the baby. I hated her. I hated her with every molecule in my undead body. I wanted to kill her. But it would hurt my family too much. I didn't want that. Despite everything, I loved them all, other than her. I kicked my vanity table and a drawer opened. A shoebox was in it. I picked it up gently and carried it to the bed. I opened it cautiously and gasped at what was inside. Curiosity killed the cat. Or maybe the vampire. Pictures. Lots of them. Of my mother and father. My house. Then I almost screamed when I saw the others. My knees gave out. They were of him. Royce King. His perfect sandy hair. His little button nose. His sly grin that won over many women. I mentally and physically snapped.

I grabbed random things and chucked them across the room with all the strength I could muster. I broke the bed in half by a simple kick and broke the headboard with a quick punch. I picked up my chair and smashed it in between my hands. I threw the radio at the door and it broke into a million pieces. I picked up the pictures and shredded them with my teeth, right before the door opened and Emmett walked in, my family looking in from behind. Edward looked upset. I knew he heard every thought. Alice was nervous and whispering frantically to Jasper. Jasper glanced at me and tried to send me waves of calmness. I didn't work. Esme looked as if she would cry if she could and Carlisle looked worried.

"Rosalie?", Emmett whispered, a look of confusion highlighting his perfect features. He sounded scared. He gently closed the door.

I turned and looked at my face in the vanity mirror. The girl I saw had long blond hair, like me. Beautiful blue eyes, like me. A porcelain face, like me. But the angry face and almost crazed look in her eyes did not belong to me. I flew into Emmet's arms.

"It's okay, Rosie. It's alright.", he said soothingly, while rubbing small circles across my back. I was in complete shock and didn't say a word.

I hated Bella, but I wouldn't show it. She would be the only one who didn't know what occurred today. I would endure. Not for Bella, not for myself, not for Edward or Carlisle or Jasper, not for Alice or even Emmett, I would endure for the baby. The sweet innocent baby. I would endure for the baby.



Ok, well how was it. I love critisism just not to harsh! :) Anyway I was thinking about maybe doing a five year later or something...should I? Vote in the poll! Thanks for reading, please review! :) :D
I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~
  





User avatar
370 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 20503
Reviews: 370
Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:14 am
empressoftheuniverse says...



Umm... I think this is in the wrong spot, dear. This is lyrical poetry; I think this belongs in fan fiction. Also, polls tend to distract the reader from your work, you might think about nixing the poll. Besides which, it seems pretty good and I'll be happy to give it a full review when its in fan fiction.
lots of hugs
Empress
Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart.
*Le Bible
Royal Reviews Here!
  





User avatar
3821 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 3491
Reviews: 3821
Fri Jan 08, 2010 2:35 am
Snoink says...



*Moved to Fanfiction*
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  





User avatar
336 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 805
Reviews: 336
Fri Jan 08, 2010 5:16 am
Jas says...



Oh my god, I accidently put it in lyrical poetry...wow sorry....please review from there....i guess
I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~
  





User avatar
182 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 37408
Reviews: 182
Sun Mar 14, 2010 10:17 pm
AspiringAuthorA..M. says...



You haven't even received a review. :(

*Will review at some point later today* :wink:
"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
-John 11:25-26
  





User avatar
336 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 805
Reviews: 336
Sun Mar 14, 2010 10:41 pm
Jas says...



Lol. You don't have too. I hate Twilight now :)
I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~
  








"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves."
— William Shakespeare