Hey, I'm Gen, and it will be my pleasure reviewing your story today.
OK, so this is a good story. I like it, but I think describing the 'transformers' as metal is a bit odd, you should give them a name. Not a personal name but one like human or rabbit. I'm wondering what the argument at the beginning of the story is about, and think it would be cool if you expanded on that. Other than that it's a good story, but I feel more should lead up to her first sighting of the 'metal'. smt003
Thanks to Kamas who drew my avvie
I'm lost within the magnificence of my pancakes, taken over by complete silence, only interrupted by the sound of my munching!
Gender:
Points: 1267
Reviews: 8