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Young Writers Society


Bella's 30th Birthday



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Gender: Female
Points: 1083
Reviews: 3
Thu Jun 16, 2011 9:19 pm
Ladyinpurple597 says...



I'm sorry but I don't like it. I don't know, it's just....not right. But that's just me.
If there's a book you really want to read but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. ~Toni Morrison
  





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9 Reviews



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Sun Jun 26, 2011 7:14 pm
787ellen says...



this is really good. fan fiction sometimes doesnt make sense but this does.
787ellen
  





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Tue Jun 28, 2011 5:09 pm
stacymcintosh says...



'What's with the facial hair?' Edward with facial hair? Thats an interesting visual image! I laughed, my old self bubbling back to the surface.

'Have to look older, Bella. I am thirty, after all,' Don't the Cullens just try looking a certain age for a certain amount of time and then relocate? he smirked, his face lifting into that breathtaking crooked smile that sent my heart into overdrive once more. Its cool how she would still be like this despite all of the years.

I ran to him and hugged him, even though I was hurt and angry Can you think of more descriptive words instead of hurt and angry? that he had left me. All was forgiven in that one short moment but Edward took a step back and held his breath.

'Sorry, Bella, I haven't been around you for so long. Your scent is...overwhelming.'

'Oh, sorry,' I mumbled, backing away. He smiled at me from across the room and then sat himself down in Mike's chair.

'I came back for you Bella, a few months after I left but Charlie said you were away on holidays, enjoying yourself in England. I went looking for you there but I couldn't find you. I went back to talk to Charlie and he sent me off on a wild goose chase. You have no idea how hard it is to track you. Then I heard that you had married Newton and I was sure that you had moved on. I was devastated but glad that you had forgotten me and found yourself a nice, human husband. Then when you had your daughter, I knew about it. I missed you so much but I thought it was better for you to be safe,' he told me.


I like that exchange between them but is Mike here the whole time? I don't remeber in Twilight of Mike knowing anything about Edward's background? The only thing he came close to saying was "He looks at you like your something to eat."
But otherwise its very interesting!
  





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Fri Jul 01, 2011 8:19 pm
Maybutterfly16 says...



I really liked it! It was really interesting but it was sort of confusing though. If she didn't end up with Edward wouldn't she end up with Jacob then? And why with Mike?

Please write more!!!
The road to success is not an easy one.
  





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67 Reviews



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Reviews: 67
Wed Jul 06, 2011 5:28 pm
LadyFreeWill says...



So, usually I don't really read Twilight fanfictions, but hey, I decided to check this one out, and I found myself a bit curious about what was going on. Like many other reviewers, I laughed when it turned out Bella was hitched to Mike Newton, and I ALSO wondered why Edward be in contact with Jacob...?? I suppose I'll found out if you update! So please do!
Formerly TheScratchMan.
  





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Sat Jul 16, 2011 3:56 pm
ChloeJade23 says...



I really liked this short story, it had me entranced and wanting to read more and more as it went on. I will admit, I thought Bella would never be the type of person to walk out on her husband and daughter, then in chapter 2 i was glad she didn't. However, I think she belongs with Edward and it wouldn't just be happily ever after with them, because they'd be alot of challenges in the way, like the fact Edward is a vampire and Bella is a 30 year old human.
I really enjoyed reading and really hope you write more.
ChloeJade23
  





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38 Reviews



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Sun Dec 25, 2011 8:14 pm
AliyahPillage says...



I thought this was a very nice story, I enjoyed reading it from the very start,
Would I have married him?
Probably
Would I have become a vampire?
Maybe.
Did I still love him?
Definitely.

This was my favorite line of the whole thing, it's nice.
Keep working at it.

Sincerely,
Aliyah (Jessicarlielove)
Wo Ai Ni (I Love You) Jessicarlie Love
  








I want to see people turn and writhe; make them feel things they cannot see and sometimes do not know.
— Anna Held