"The outsiders have agreed to the boundaries, we-" He trailed off as he collapsed to the floor, and did not rise.
I was a bit confused. I was wondering if he really died or not. Since it was Rain's father you could have written in some of the feelings that Rain had. And if he did really die you could make it less rushed by adding other things. It was really great otherwise! You stayed on topic and I really hope there are other parts!
Gender:
Points: 1040
Reviews: 9