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Pirates of the Caribbean: The Waves of Jaws



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Sun Apr 04, 2010 3:03 am
AspiringAuthorA..M. says...



Pirates of the Caribbean: The Waves of Jaws

Captain Jack Sparrow stood at the Black Pearle's wheel, gazing at the setting sun. It bathed the Black Pearl's deck in radiant fiery light. Jack raised a bottle of rum to his lips and drained the last drops of the liquid.

"Why does the rum always seem to evaporate into the air?" Jack said frowning. He jerked his head to the left as an orca launched itself out of the water. Jack practically lived in the sea, yet the marvelous sea creatures never ceased to fill him with awe.

Jack took off his hat and saluted the orca as it disappeared into the abyss. "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me, and a sea critters life for you," he sang. He pulled his ram back and then thrust out, tossing the empty rum bottle into the sea.

"Jack!" came Will's voice from above.


Jack turned around and almost lazily looked up at Will, perched in a watch tower like a bird of prey. "Yes Pirate?" he said cheerfully.

Will shook his head. "How many times do I have to tell you, I'm, not a pirate?"

Jack smiled. "Until you admit that you are one." Even with the suns rays obscuring Will's face, Jack knew he had a look of disgust.

"With the pirate rubbish aside, how long do you want me up here Jack?"

"Until I give you the order to get down and get some rest."

"And when might that be? Yesterday you passed out on me, and here I was going mad counting waves."

Jack smiled and said, "I do hope you found that entertaining."

"By the way Jack, just why exactly did you leave most of your crew in Tortuga?" Will said seriously.

At that Jack quickly looked away, and stared at the ocean with a new perspective.

The truth was, Jack did not want to risk his crew. The ones he liked anyway. Because he knew that he would have to sail through treacherous waters to get to it. The island. A vast God forsaken spit of lush jungle where they say lays the largest deposit of diamonds and gold that sailors have ever layed eyes on. But only so few have ever made it out to tell the tale.

And what horrific tales they were. The island was said to be the home of monstrous reptiles. Lizards as tall as men that would rip open the stomachs of even the mightiest pirates with a single slash of their clawed hands or feet. Tales of gigantic creatures with small twig sized arms, but with jaws that could bite a man in half in one chomp.

But there were also tales of those who never even got as far as the shoreline line before great fishes sank boats. The survivors who merchant ships picked up floating on drift wood told of fish half the size of their boats. And how they had teeth like razors, and oh, how the could throw themselves out of the water like dolphins. The creatures were given the name of Great White Sharks. For while their backs were the blue of the sea, their bellies were white like bone.

Jack shivered despite the warm humid sea breeze. Even with the setting sun, the drop in temperature lagged behind. Either way, the voyage would have a better pay off than his failed attempt at finding the Fountain of Youth. He could almost laugh at how absurdly that had ended.

"Jack!?" Will hollered, startling Jack.

"Yes?" Jack said taking a few drunken steps toward the tower. He swayed from side to aside with the ship. "Oh, that's why the rum always disappears."

"Just how many crew members did you bring along anyway?"

"Besides a strapping young fellow like yourself, the other scalley wags aboard my ship are Ragetti and Pintel."

After a brief pause where only the swish of the waves against the ship, Will said, "Please tell me your only joking."

"If I'm joking then I'd give up on me rum."

With that Will Pulled out his knife and stuck it against the large wooden pole in the middle of the watch tower.

Jack winced as it became embedded in his ship that he loved as a wife. "Easy on me love mate!"

"Sorry Captain Jack Sparrow, can you ever forgive me?" Will called down sarcastically.

Jack merely shrugged and returned to the ships wheel. He raised his hands and brought them to the rough surface of the wooden wheel. He stroked it as if it were a soft pillow.

"Jack!" I just saw a large beast swim out from beneath us. "I think it may be another Kraken!"

"Easy there matey, there is- was only one Kraken. And that was all taken care of," Jack said sighing. As evil as Davy Jones was, Jack could not help but sympathize with the poor devil. He was just another man who had fallen in love with the sea, and ultimately, she betrayed him. Both his body and soul had been destroyed. Not to mention the agony of having to kill the only thing that truly looked up to him for affection.

Yes, as monstrous as the Kraken was, Jack knew it was the only friend Davy Jone's had in the world. No, all the way to the world's end.

"Jack! There it is again!" Will hollered. "What in God's- it's a shark!"

Jack waved off Will's insistent cries. What harm could a fish do to his pearl? Suddenly Jack found himself thrown off his feet. He groaned as the back of his head collided with the planks of the floor. His body buckled as the boat's deck rocked with the ferocious impact of the shark. His vision was hazy as he picked himself up off the ground.

"Alright, no man nor beast misses with my ship," Jack said. "Every hand on deck! Load the guns, the cannons if you must!"

The seconds seemed to pass by as centuries as no response came. Then the grunting of Will as he climbed down toward the deck, and the trotting of hurried foot pounds met his ears.


"What in the bloody sea turtles was that Jack?" Pintel said in an exasperated voice. He yelped as loud splashing sounds confirmed that the thing behind the violent rocking was still around.

"Have a look for yourselves mates," Jack said pointing out over the ship and at the sea. He stared after Pintel and Ragetti as they shuffled over to the ship's edge with shaky limbs. "What in Davy Jone's locker! It's a shark!" Ragetti said, as he backed away from the edge. He reached up with a hand and absent mindedly scrubbed his glass eye.

Pintel quickly turned around and walked over to Jack, who was still sitting on the deck like a child. "It's the biggest shark I have ever seen," he whispered.

Will came over to the petrified men. Fear carved into his face. "We're gonna need a bigger boat."

Jack shoot up from the ground and slapped Will across his left cheek. "Do not under estimate the Black Pearle," he said. "Now! You bunch of dead sea gulls, bring up some guns, powder, and all the musket-balls you think you may need!"

The men simply stood there. "Jack, you want to shoot at a fish that may only surface to attack with muskets? The musket balls will not do well when fired into the water. For all we know we may be just wasting ammo as they bounce off the shark," Will said.

"What?" Jack said turning his head from left to right as if he hadn't heard a thing.

Will sighed and said, "Fine. Come on Ragetti, Pintel, Let's go shoot us a fish." Will stalked off toward the ships interior. They followed far behind.

Jack pulled out his pistol and listened to the banter as they walked off.

"I still think it's a monster," Ragetti said. "It may be the great fish that swallowed Johna in the old Bible story."

"There you go again! You know you can't read!" Pintel roared.

"Oh shut it and hurry it up!" Jack said.

"Sorry Captain!" they both said as they ran inside the ship.

The sun was sinking further into the distant waters. Jack smiled through his drunken fear. The radiant sun was going to slumber as he and his crew did battle with a beastly fish. He pulled out his sword and grazed it's side with a finger. How slick it was to the touch. But as for those on the receiving end, they felt the furry of it. He holstered his word.

Another jarring shock wave rocked the planks beneath him as the shark rammed into the ship. This time Jack could actually hear the wood faintly crack. He wobbled with the shaking, catching his balance. Feeling nothing but furry, Jack trotted over to the ship's edge and gripped the edge so hard his knuckles turned white.

"Hello beasty," Jack said down at the turning waters frothing as if it were boiling. Jack did not even blink as a large fin broke the surface and a large blue body materialized around it. Jack estimated the shark to be no more and no less than twenty five feet. And yet, the animal possessed immense power.

The shark suddenly vanished beneath the surface. "That's right you cowardly fishy! You do not want to miss with the ship, his crew, and most of all, his Captain!" He spat into the water.

"Jack! What are you doing hanging over the edge like that!?" Will demanded.

"Don't worry about me Will, you and the smelly duo just get over here and get ready to fire at the fish if it dares shows it's face again," Jack said waving them over.

A shadow was shooting up from the depths before a great splash of salty water sprayed Jack's face. And then the shark's monstrous head with gaping jaws materialized in the fountain of water. It launched itself clear out of the water like the beautiful orca that he had seen earlier. It bashed into the ships side. The impact was so great and sudden that Jack flew head first toward the sea.

The icy water met his face and body in the span of the blink of an eye. Jack somersaulted underwater and madly kicked for the surface. He spat out water. His eyes blinked against the stinging slat water. But most of all, anger surged through his veins. Circling him was the beast that seemed bent on destroying his ship. Jack reached at his side and fumbled with his sword holster.

The shark stopped circling him. It Plunged beneath the surface. Jack was not fooled. He knew that the fish was smart. The only question was, could he out wit the beast? Jack finally pulled his sword out and held it in his right arm. He looked at the darkening sea around him, determining which direction to swim in before the shark launched itself at him. Or was that what he wanted?

He tightened his grip on his sword. Jack smiled. He was ready for the attack. Or was he? He would be lying to himself if he actually believed he could defy everything that his love threw at him. His first love, the sea, might be claiming him for herself today.

His legs tinkled as a great pressure rushed up toward him. "Three, two..." Jack counted. "One!" He plunged his sword down full force and then he was launched out of the water by the torpedo. The impact was like being struck by a Calvary of horses, going full speed. Blood pooled in the water. Jack landed with a splash back in the water. The wind knocked out of him, he struggled to stay afloat.

"Jack!" came the shocked yells of the men on the boat.

Jack said nothing. No, he could say nothing. All of his efforts were focused on breathing and remaining above the surface. To his right the shark floated dead. Jack's sword embedded in its head. The water around it a deep red.

"Here, Captain, take a hold of this rope!" Pintel said casting a long thick rope into the water.

Once he recuperated Jack paddled over to the shark.

"What are you doing Jack?" Will shouted.

"Claiming back my sword mate," Jack said. He gripped the slippery snout of the shark for support. Jack reached out with his free hand and tugged hard on the hilt of the sword. With a disturbing squishing sound the weapon came free. Blood spurted from the gaping wound in the shark's head.

"Alright," Jack said swimming over to the rope. He holstered his sword and tightly gripped the rope with both hands. "Giver her a pull you bloody pirates."

"I'm... not... a pirate," Will said as he and the others heaved Jack up onto the ship.

Almost to the ships edge Jack let go of the rope with one hand and got a hold of the top plank. With a strong pull with his arm he hoisted himself onto the boat.

"Yes, you are," Jack said.

Will frowned. Ragetti and Pintel only shrugged.

Jack took off his soaking hat and shook it. Spittles of water sprayed Ragetti in the face. When enough water had splattered onto the deck he threw it back on over his head.

"What now Captain Jack Sparrow?" Ragetti said, brushing water away water from his glass eye.

Jack stuck out his tongue in disgust as it squeaked with the action.

"Now," Jack began, "we carry on and set sail to the island." He paused. "Well!?" he suddenly burst out. "What are you standing around for!?"

"We're waiting for our orders Jack," Ragetti said.

"Then you and your smelly friend there go scrub barnacles down in the storage room," Jack said staring at Pintel.

"Aye," Pintel and Ragetti said walking off.

"And you Will," Jack said. "Get back on that watch tower."

"As you wish Captain Crunch," Will said.

"Captain," Jack began, "Jack Sparrow."

"Right," Will said as he turned to go to the watch tower.

Jack smiled and returned to his rightful place at the ships wheel. He dug a hand into the pocket of his drenched pants and pulled out his compass. The arrow was pointing straight ahead. "And to the island we set sail yo ho," he sang.
Last edited by AspiringAuthorA..M. on Mon Apr 05, 2010 1:00 am, edited 2 times in total.
"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
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Sun Apr 04, 2010 5:17 am
captain.classy says...



Haha, "we're gonna need a bigger boat." Classic...

So, I liked this. The dialogue felt real. I felt like I was actually listening to Jack and Will speak, and I could almost picture their voices.

On the other hand, this was too long. Not the excerpt, but the action. It took far too long to get... nowhere, and the end wasn't satisfying. So If I wasn't totally into the Jaws/Jurassic Park/Pirates thing, this would be boring.
You have plenty of action here, it just takes too long, and in the end, we don't even get anywhere. I was extremely annoyed with that. Know that, when writing a short story, or whatever this is, you don't have time to sit and talk about nothing for hours. Especially with this, you start the action in the beginning, and carry it on far too long. Try starting the action halfway through, and things might be less boring.

I really liked it! I'm "such an awesome girl" that I got all the references. haha

Questions/comments, PM me.

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Tue Apr 06, 2010 12:54 am
Celticmusicgirl says...



i am a big fan of Pirates of the Caribbean and you did a good job as Captian Cassy said you took to long with the action and i saw a few grammatical errors which are as follows:"He pulled his ram back and then thrust out, tossing the empty rum bottle into the sea." you said ram i assume you meant arm? "Jack shivered despite the warm humid sea breeze." you need a comma between warm and humid. "Jack!" I just saw a large beast swim out from beneath us. "I think it may be another Kraken!" i think it sould look more like this: "Jack! I just saw a large beast swim out from beneath us. I think it may be another Kraken!" only one set of qoutations. "Alright, no man nor beast misses with my ship," Jack said. "Every hand on deck! Load the guns, the cannons if you must!" I think it should be more like this: "Alright, no man nor beast messes with my ship," Jack said. "Every hand on deck! Load the guns and the cannons if you must!"
"Do not under estimate the Black Pearle," If I'm not mistaken it should be Pearl not Pearle. i'll leave it there for now.
Maith adh,
Celtic
Last edited by Celticmusicgirl on Sun Nov 28, 2010 10:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Tue Apr 06, 2010 1:09 am
AspiringAuthorA..M. says...



Thank you very much. Yes, I do tend to let obvious mistakes pass below my notice whenever I go on a writing craze. I'll be sure and address those errors. :P
"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
-John 11:25-26
  





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Thu Apr 15, 2010 12:44 am
curiousvampire says...



Bravo, Aspiring you captured Jack perfectly in this composition. This was good and humorous in other words uplifting. Thanks for the read.
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Tue Apr 20, 2010 1:02 am
xXShadowPeopleXx says...



I've always loved The Pirates of the Caribbean and Jaw! This is Awesome! The way you place them together :D
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Thu Apr 22, 2010 5:15 pm
PeterHerronGunner says...



That was great! :D It was like watching the movie but better! :elephant: I love the way you portrayed Jack and Will! It was great! The rum was totally a Jack moment! :lol:

One thing though, what was with Will calling Jack "Captain Crunch"? I mean is this a reference to the movie or is it about the real Captain Crunch?

Other than that is was awesome! :elephant:
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Thu Apr 22, 2010 11:56 pm
AspiringAuthorA..M. says...



It was a reference to the modern cereal brand. Hopefully it wasn't too much. If it is, please, do not hesitate to say so. ;)
"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
-John 11:25-26
  








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