Mask

I wear a black glittering mask;
made of glass.
I hide and you seek;
you're out to hurt me.

The mask keeps people out,
and it keeps me hidden.
I can not cry.
I don't even feel like I'm alive.

I can't apologize,
because all I see is weakness in your eyes.
so keep me, full of shame;
it's no wonder I get blamed.

I wear this mask,
so I won't get hurt;
so I can't get burned.
I'll never learn.

My mask is shattered,
by you and your friends.
You're so focused
on breaking me open.

I lived for one more a moment...

I lived once more a moment...

Eh? I'm a little confused as to what that meant.

Your so focused

I think you mean "you're".

Your - belonging to you
You're - you are

Anyway, I really liked this. It kind of reminded me a little bit of the Phantom of the Opera for some strange reason, even though his mask was literal and this one is more figurative. Just the same way he remains so still until near the end when he has been unmasked and he becomes this raging maniac. Not that your narrator is a maniac. Yeah... End of my rant.

I'm not quite sure how a mask of glass would work. I mean, can't you see through glass? I guess you mean to say that it is fragile, but I don't see how it can protect them from anything, considering their mask is see through...

Nice poem.

*thumbs up*

~GryphonFledgling

This was good.

I wear a black glittering mask;
made of glass.
I hide and you seek,
your out to hurt me.

1) You're not your

2) I think you've got the punctuation a little wrong. This is how I would do it -
I wear a black glittering mask,
made of glass.
I hide and you seek;
you're out to hurt me.

Your so focused

Again, it should be you're not your

I lived for once more a moment...

Do you mean 'I lived for one more moment...' or something? I really don't know what you're on about here.

Keep writing,
Bkwrm

I liked the rhyme and the theme, but I don't think that the topic was the way to go for this.
I don't have much to say, sorry!
shanan-cat!

Hello October Girl how are you? I am fine.

I like your poem it is very good but this one paragraph was similar to the song "Because of You" By Kelly Clarkson.

I can't apologize,
because all I see is weakness in your eyes. this is one of lines in the song.
so keep me, full of shame;
it's no wonder I get blamed.

There isn't a lot wrong with it actually nothing. well If you have any questions feel free to Pm me.

SimonCowellLuver

Ahh, this is a very creative piece.(:
Pretty much, everyone already pointed out what I saw.
So I have nothing to really put down here.

I really liked it.
You did an amazing job.
Sweet!(:

I like it. Although, yes, your should be you're. I get a feeling that this poem is about being something you're not, and you want to be free of it. I can relate to that. I think the poem's very meaningful.

very good poem. although, i cant figure out why it is in the fanfiction part. r u talking about vampires, wizards, Death Eaters? drop me a line, because im a bit confused

very good poem, but what's it based on?

But i liked some of the ideas =]]

Especially the glass mask one, how it can break easily, and doesnt work as you can see right through the disguise

Eva XxXxX