Alanna wrote:Why did you turn? Why did you let me burn? Why did you go? Cause I love you so. Who are you?
The first four lines had some kind of a story,the readers could link them,but the last line was meaningless or may be I couldn't get the meaning.
Keep writing!
"A good plot is like a dream.If you dont write down your dream on paper the moment you wake up,the chances are you'll forget it and it'll be gone forever"-Roald Dalh.
Something that could make this better is too answer the questions. It just seems like a set of questions right now not poetry. You should put something that give us it a from, because as i said it just like questions right now not poetry
We get off to the rhythm of the trigger and destruction. Fallujah to New Orleans with impunity to kill. We are the hidden fist of the free market.
We are the ink, we are the quill.
[The Ink And The Quill (Be Afraid) - Anti-Flag]
Well this was based on questions that Anakin Skywalker,Obi-Wan Kenobi,Tahiri Veila,and Han Solo might ask.The one awnser is Anakin Solo's. Tahiriand Anakin are expanded universe characters as is the recipient of Han's question Jacen Solo his only living son.
This seems to be more of an outline for a poem than anything. Try to add on to it more. For example, for me the questions are not that important. For me, what is important is why the questions are asked in the first place. So keep this as an outline, but expand it more and give reasons to why the questions are asked.
And make this a little more to do with Star Wars. Right now, your fandom of it is iffy, at best.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.
"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach
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