Young Writers Society

As the laser focused on Grif's head, the ground suddenly shook.

"The Daishi is coming to make friends!" Areida said.

"Daishi? Oh crap," the Elemental said. The Daishi came into view now, it was moving straight for the Elementals. Four elementals against one Daishi.

Three of them activated jump jets in front of the Daishi. Flying up in front of the Daishi, they fired their lasers, destroying the glass, and anyone that was inside.

The elemental smiled at Grif. Grif smiled back. This confused the elemental, but not for long. A sniper bullet ended his thoughts.

"Phoenix!" Grif said.

"I took out the Daishi pilot."

"NOO!" Areida cried.

"Not so loud!" Dusky yelled, but it was no use, the other three elementals turned to see what was happening. They saw their dead leader and the SPEW Commandos.

The SPEW Commandos dove for their guns as lasers shot over head. Phoenix fired his Sniper rifle, taking off one of the Elemental's arms.

Grif was the next one. Grabbing his rail gun, he fired. It hit the Elemental square in the chest.

The last two elementals began moving quickly away from the scene.

"Let's get out of here," Snoink said.

"I've analyzed the Daishi. We got the data."

"How are we going to get out of here?"

"FREEZE!"

"Oh not again," Phoenix muttered.

I love pwning teh noobs...'specially thos weearing exo-suits.

Haha... Wiggy, don't ask to be an extra! It'll be like those sci fi serials and you'll be killed in many creative ways! XD

And haha... not again? Methinks something like this has happened before.

"At ease Jensen."

"But Sarge-"

"Damn it Jensen, haven't you seen the SPEW Commandos before? Did the flood rip out your mind and your ears!?"

"Sergeant Johnson! We're glad to see you," Grif said.

"Hey Grif. You still using URL's in your dialogue?"

"You bet. Where's Master Chief?"

"We're here," a female voice said.

"Cortana!" Grif said.

One SPEW Commando looked less than happy at the new visitor.

"Oh hello Dusky! Still sore at me for being smarter, faster, and better than you?"

"That's enough," Master Chief said, "What are you doing here Master Pig?"

"We're gathering intel on this world. We need to make it back to our evac point," Snoink said.

"Is there a radio there?"

"Yes. You need to make a phone call?"

"Let's just say we ran out of quarters," Master Chief replied.

"What a weird thing to say!" Areida exclaimed.

"So, will you help us or-" Dusky was cut off by Cortana.

"I have some Warthogs on the way. They'll get us to your phone," Cortana said.

"Do you need the-"

"It's not necessary."

"Stop-"

"-It?"

"Enough," Master Chief said.

A moment later, the Warthogs arrived.

"Shotgun!" Phoenix said.

"Shotgun- damn!" Grif said.

"Sir, more mechs coming in!"

"We have to leave now! Load up!" Sergeant Johnson said. The SPEW Commandos got into two Warthogs. Master Chief drove one, with Phoenix in the passenger and Grif as the gunner. Snoink drove the other, with Areida in the passenger seat and Dusky as the gunner.

The Warthogs raced along the road at an incredible speed as the ground began to shake.

I thought they were Pumas.

Ha ha ha!

Alright... If I have to be sore at someone for being "smarter, faster, and better" tan me, I want to shoot something.

*looks at Grif with wide, brown eyes* Please?

"What a weird thing to say!" Areida exclaimed.

I just got a total flashback to Sophie's World. *shudders* That was not a happy feeling.

Crysi - Do I even want to know?

Hehe, Dusky's a gunner!

No, 'Reida. You really don't.

(Horrid book we had to read for English... It's basically a textbook on the history of philosophy. With horrible writing and pathetic attempts at plot. IT BLEW MY MIND. And not in a good way.)

The Warthogs weren't all the same. The first one was mounted with a gauss gun, while the second one was mounted with a gattling gun.

Six Warthogs in all.

Phoenix was looking through his sniper rifle.

"Yep. I've killed lots of people with this."

"What, three people?" Cortana said.

"Actually, closer to 87," Phoenix replied smugly.

"I've killed tons of Covenant."

"They're easy to kill. I'm counting humans."

"Oh. Well, I only started killing them today."

"Great, how many are you up to?"

"About... how many was it Cortana?"

"That would be 88 confirmed kills, Chief."

"What! That can't be."

"There is an error margin of +/- .0001."

"I KNEW IT!" Phoenix said.

"MECHS!" Grif yelled. The mech had jumped from behind a building into the path of the Warthog. Master Chief floored it as Grif opened fire. The warthog went between the legs of the mech just as Grif's shells punctured into the reactor. The reactor went critical behind them.

<Snoink!> Grif said.

<We're okay, we'll need to take the long way. Sergeant, split up the vehicles and make for the coordinates that Cortana is sending you,> Snoink said.

<Roger!>

Behind them, the vehicles spread out. Snoink's Warthog followed them.

<Lead on Master Chief.>

<Banshees!> Cortana said.

<I got them!> Dusky said. She aimed the gattling gun and pressed the trigger.

A stream of bullets shot from the gattling gun. A banshee exploded, then another.

<Wow!> Areida said.

<We need to get out of here,> Phoenix said.

<Already on it. There is a highway to the left. Turn now,> Cortana said. Master Chief did so without warning. Cursing resulted, but those words were lost in the screeching of tires. Master Chief floored it again.

The two Warthogs flew onto the freeway, a line of mechs was moving in front of them down the highway. Their backs were towards the advancing Warthogs.

<The road's blocked!>

<I'm on it!> Cortana said. The Warthogs were less than a mile away now.

<Cortana!>

<Got It! Chief, follow the shots.>

<What?> Grif said. The gun moved on its own, before firing at the side of the road. The barrier exploded.

<Hold on,> Master Chief said. The Warthog flew over the side of the highway.

Griffinkeeper wrote:The first one was mounted with a Gauss Gun, while the Second one was mounted with a Gattling Gun.

Should be:

The first one was mounted with a gauss gun, while the Ssecond one was mounted with a gattling gun.

Don't randomly capitalize things! They have to be proper nouns for you to do that.

"MECH'S!"

Unless it is possessive, there should be no apostrophe there.

It came from out of nowhere.

It? What is it?

<We're okay, we'll need to take the long way. Sergeant, split up the vehicles and make for the coordinates Cortana is sending you,> Snoink said.

Just between you and me, I would say, "...and make for the coordinates that Cortana is sending you." Much more grammatically correct, which is good for a SPEW story.

Behind them, the vehicles spread out. Snoinks Warthog followed them.

You need an apostrophe to denote possessiveness. So it would be "Snoink's Warthog."

<Banshee's!> Cortana said.

Since this noun is not possessive, no apostrophe is needed.

...am I being too repetitious?

Cursing resulted, but those words were lost in the screeching tires. Master Chief floored it again.

Screeching of tires, unless we just ran over these words.

The two Warthogs flew onto the freeway. A line of mechs was moving in front of them down the highway.

You might want to combine these two sentences.

<The Road's blocked!>

In this case, the apostrophe is okay because it means, "The road is blocked." But why the hell is road capitalized? It's not a proper noun...

Haha. You need to work on your possessive nouns, young man!

...*blinks* What she said.

And I'm STILL not in here? Sheesh! I think I should randomly sprout out of one of those oddly-capitalized words. Yeah.

Changed to fit Snoink's critique.

Don't worry Crysi, I'm working on ways to add more people. I wanted to start small, so I didn't have to juggle so many people.

Griffinkeeper wrote:Changed to fit Snoinks critique.

See? That's what I'm talking about. Snoink's critique. It's MY critique, so therefore it's possessive.

Hahaha. You guys are so funny.