Young Writers Society

I am writing a story currently about a grown female who revisits an abandoned orphanage that she lived in for the first tens years of her life, but it was shut down then because of murder and rape accusations. She is touring the old building with her boyfriend who lived there as well, but for only five years. She tells him about the horror stories that she has relived many times in her own head.

I just can't get the emotion to be there. It's really lacking. I mean she's suppose to be mad, sad, confused, and i just can't seem to put it in the story. Well with out saying she was mad, and so on. So i need help please.

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Thanks, this is the big piece I am working on tell me what ya think

topic35110.html

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Here is the second chapter to my story

topic35847.html

Whenever I need something like this, I pretend I am them. They lost their brother? BAM - John's dead in my head. They're dying? BAM - I just got diagnosed with cancer in my head. Their boyfriend broke up with them? BAM - I get one and he dumps me in my head.

Go up to your room and let this play out in your mind. Day dream! At first, do small things. Get to know how your characters interact. Talk to the guy. Then remember what happened to you - but only a little at a time. Bring him back with you. Show him it. Let yourself be your MC - feel all the things she's going through. Let yourself cry and scream and punch pillows.

Jot down the feelings, the thoughts, bits of dialogue 'you' have with the guy.

Then write, while you still have the feeling captured.

But again, maybe start with something smaller. 'cause this is HUGE - try a short story death or something first. XD

(PSHH. I cry myself to sleep every night 'cause of this. My mom's in a coma, my brother's dead, etc. etc. I love daydreaming; it's the only way I can fall asleep. XXD)

I hope that helped a little bit?

~JFW1415

I empathize with your problem, Rascalover. I used to have that problem as well. JW offers a very good tip. Myself, I tried to watch a movie or a TV show that dealt with the emotion I was trying to evoke. Then I'd try to immerse myself in the moment of grief, shock, happiness, whatever. It works quite well, though I hate thinking about what if my mother died or I became terminally ill. You might not have this problem, I just use the entertainment as a cushion to help me sleep at night.

Thanks guys, I too often daydream so that should help alot. Maybe watching something of a scary story would help with the flashbacks... this gives me some thing to think about.

-Thanks! Tiffany

what I usually do in this sort of situation is picture myself feling that emotion or remember what it felt like - even if it has nothing to do with whats happening in the book. Then I just twist it into the character. Another thing which works is, when you're angry/sad/confused write it down somewhere, include every detail about that emotion possible. Then, when you're in a different mood, read back over your notes and just use the words that you wrote about it.

But if you are having trouble with the actual conveying of the emotion through words rather than the actual feeling itself, then using imagery and comparrisons is always helpful.

i try to think of times that i feel sad/angry/confused and then dwell on it a little bit. then i stick on some angry screamo music and then write.

i know this probably isn't very healthy for my inner self, but writing is far more important

Awesome ahah, thanks guys! comparrisons is what I was missing!

I'm not sure I could do that, but I have an example that might help:

I was writing about a scene where the male character cheats on the female character. It took me forever to get it right, and I'm still not sure. I just couldn't see myself thinking of cheating on my boyfriend. I tried really hard to, too.

Finally, I imagined it from the other way around, if my BOYFRIEND cheated on ME, not the way I was thinking it before. I thought about how angry, depressed, cheated, and dissapointed I'd feel, and I got it. The male character cheated, he felt bad the whole time, karma came back and bit him in the ass, but it was just one little word that got me. Guilt. He felt guilty, and now to discribe feeling guilty, I need to do something to make me feel that way.

So I did the most cliched thing I've ever done. I stole a cookie from the cookie jar. Okay, so I didn't get as much guilt as I would if I cheated on my boyfriend, but it worked. I felt that burn in the back of my neck, my stomach hurt, and my back stiffened when my mom mentioned the missing cookie. I got it, and I made my male character take Pepto Bismol, him rubbing the back of his neck all the time, and how he walked like he had lead in his pants.

I'm not saying that you should hurt someone to feel that anger and sadness, but you should try to remember what it was like to lose someone, watch someone get hurt, etc. As JFW1415 said, maybe it would be a good idea to start small and work your way up to something bigger?? If it doesn't work, it won't hurt, now, will it??

Awesome advice thanks a ton. I know i should start on smaller things first, but Im impatient so when I get these ideas in my head I want to get it out right away

Rascalover wrote:Awesome advice thanks a ton. I know i should start on smaller things first, but Im impatient so when I get these ideas in my head I want to get it out right away

Get a notebook and jot down your ideas. If you don't think you can handle something, practice with something smaller. If you're writing is awful simply due to lack of experience, you'll become discouraged, when you may have been able to write it very well with practice.

~JFW1415

Thanks, this is the big piece I am working on tell me what ya think

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic35110.html

In your situation, I think reading a bit on the Holocaust will help. All the emotions you're trying to convey to the reader can be cited during the time of the Holocaust and so much more. You'll have to make one slight subsitution. Instead, the concentration camps will become your orphanage. The gas chambers can be the area where the orphans were abused terribly. And so on. Make changes from that period and incorperate them into the plot.

See? History always repeats itself, even if you're not going to use specifics.

Oh wow thanks, I never thought of it that way.

Here is the second chapter to my story

topic35847.html