Young Writers Society

This is a small story I am planning to write, though I really would like/need your opinion on the character profiles of the main characters and the plot of the story itself.
Plot:
In the 1800 Sir Walter James; a world renown historian goes missing in a trek through the Himalaya’s. Seventy five years later his body is found in the Mongolian Alps hidden beneath the snow of a Yak farm. His body is found mangled and dishevelled, his clothes and hair have been ripped by the skin. The only thing that was not broken or disfigured is the golden compass around his neck and the map under his arm.
Centuries later the maps and compass are stolen from Sir Walter James official museum exhibit in Paris, France. FBI and National Units are sent on a violent trek after the accomplices, though they are not the only ones who want the compass and map. Other forces rebel against the hold of the government to get their hands on the supposedly Mayan Compass and Map that could lead them to the largest treasures in the world.
The Accomplices are not as guilty as they seem, when Iris is forced into stealing the map and compass with two mysterious people her life is changed forever....

Characters-
Name: Iris Spencer
Age: 16
Appearance: Short brown hair that flicks below her shoulders in soft curls, deep brown eyes that change textures of brown during the day, with black eyelashes and a round nose. Iris is quite tall at 5’8 and with a slim figure with tan skin.

Name: Drake Dranger
Age: 16
Appearance: Black surfer hair with deep grey eyes that look stony, a muscular build and stands very tall at 6 foot. A very handsome face that never leaves anyone’s mind, he has chubby cheeks and cream pale skin tone

Name: Ronan Syton
Age: 15
Appearance: Spiky blonde hair and sea blue eyes, Ronan takes the look of a country boy who was spoilt way too much when he was younger. Standing at 5’6 he is quite small for his age and his creamy skin makes him look even more childish.
Name: Valerie Yoland
Age: 17
Appearance: Long Blonde hair that falls like snow, Sapphire blues with long deep black eyes lashes that curl naturally upwards. She has tan skin with a very tall hour glass figure standing at 6’1. She is what every girl wants be and who every boy wants to be with.

Name: Derek Brown
Age: 17
Appearance: Slick dark brown hair which looks almost black, deep green eyes that glaze over behind thick intellectual glass that slide down a long yet elegant nose. He is not particularly handsome though he looks rather exotic giving him a bit of attention. With a thin and tall figure standing at 5’10.

Name: Equador Kwalb
Age: 16
Appearance: Very brawn figure standing at 6’2. Maroon brown hair with emerald green eyes with flecks of brown in the middle. He has cream red skin with a large smile and large white teeth.

Thankyou for reading, I am aware that the profiles are small though you just need to know that much because....Alright fine I am tired and am going to get kicked off soon, so this is the best I can do. Please comment, I truly need your advice!

Okay. First, your charaters can't all be young and nor can they all be models or unusual-looking! Do you know the chances of finding a person who looks anything like one of them? Secondly, please explain your plot a little better, because I didn't fully understand. If this was a query letter, you would not be accepted but the plot certainly has promise. You focus too much on the 'prolouge' and not enough on the actual plot; how and why they steal the artifacts, what happens to them. But I like the charaters' names other than the fact that there are no common names (or no names common in my counrty). I think you need to work on characterisation and you must have a part for each character. I would like to see things like the 'pros' and 'cons' of these people, and a short bio for each.

If you need/want anything, PM me. Please tell me when you post this story as I'm interested.

Keep writing!

~Durrie

*moved to Fiction Discussion and Tips*

Don't worry yourself with character appearances so much (shallow characterisation makes for a shallow story). Instead, focus on backstory. Where did they grow up? What sort of family background did they have? Who were their friends? What things happened to them? Did they see or experience anything unusual, horrific, life changing in their youth? What sort of grades did they get? Asking these sorts of questions will help you understand those characters' personalities so you can write about them authentically.