Young Writers Society

So a few days ago I let my best friend read the first chapter to my story Luna. She said she loved it, but there was too much description.
My first reaction was "What?! Too much description?" She promised that it was good and that she loved it, but I was shaken. My older brother told me the same thing once.
I thought that I left just enough wiggle room for the readers imagination to run with it.
So when does description become too much? Can there really ever be too much description in a story? I'm so confused.
Help?

~Danie

It's quite possible, and to my knowledge is usually labeled "purple prose," especially if it's of the pseudo-poetic overwrought variety.

I can't say if what you have is too much unless you provide a sample, but ask yourself how much are you describing? Do you describe all of a character's clothes and hair and build in loving detail, using a lot of adjectives (even if such description is not needed)? Do you spend paragraph setting up a single scene? You may think that you have a good amount, but look back and really focus on whether every detail is necessary. You may have produced a brilliant description of a character's face, but if it doesn't advance the plot or provide characterizaton, it's basically deadwood. No, description isn't inherently bad and I'm certainly not advocating Hemingway-style minimalism-but it should be used in moderation. A sentence or two, using figurative language or an interesting simile or a single strong image, can convey the exact same image as a sprawling paragraph, and in a more vivid and unique way.

Don't sweat it if it's a first draft--our first drafts are ful of clutter and detritus. No one expects to produce a perfect first draft. Revision, in most cases, isn't for adding in stuff but cutting stuff out. Also keep in mind that people's tastes vary when it comes to description. Some prefer to have almost none Others like reading lyrical long-winded descriptions. Some prefer somewhere in between. A lot of it depends on your indvidual style as well. You're still growing as a writer and your style is bound to change as you mature.

Simply put, cut out everything that doesn't a.) Develop character or b.) Move the plot forward. The best part of fiction is that you cast, costume, and create the extra details for yourself- don't try to ruin that with oh so much description.

And make your descriptions memorable. We're more likely to pay attention to "eyes like emeralds" than "dark green eyes," for example.

Stori wrote:And make your descriptions memorable. We're more likely to pay attention to "eyes like emeralds" than "dark green eyes," for example.

Granted, describing eyes as emeralds (or indeed any kind of jewel) is rather cliche.

If you think about it, most people don't pay attention to others' eye colors, so it's not imperative to describe eye color at all in a story, unless it's plot/character important.

I do agree that descripions should be memorable. The adage "quality not quantity" springs to mind.

This made me wonder... "Do I use too much description as well?"

I never really considered that it could be a bad thing. Of course the overly dragging description problem is obvious. But about the other details, I'm just not sure...

If the description doesn't drive conflict and is just there to be pretty, then it's probably is too much. You can describe as many details as you want, so long as those details stand for something in the conflict. I've got a segment in my novel that spends a lot of time describing paintings and a tomb. The details in those paintings and the tomb (along with the superstitions surrounding it) are the first taste of the major, under-the-surface conflict in the story. Is it a lot? I have eight rather thick paragraphs dedicated to those details. Will I probably cut some of those details? Sure. Is having those details important for the plot of the story? Yes. The details for the paintings are the first clue that there's a long-running problem that come from human error. Those clues are hidden from the reader at the moment, but I know I'm going to cite those descriptions later in the work. For that reason, I let myself go into a lot of detail for that segment of the story.

Examples of minor descriptions include what my MC considers important to know (It's a first-person story, so I can only mention things she notices. For a third-person story, you have more freedom in what you describe). Since she's a bit of a spy, she notices weapons and any sign of status, as well as emotions and facial expressions. Some of those details are a bit too much and probably will get cut, but a lot of them help drive the scene forward. The only time she really notices clothes is if she's wanting to hide or she's wanting to make sure she and her sister are socially presentable. Those descriptions stems from the conflict of not wanting any rumours to spread about her family, which would be very very bad.

In short: put in as much description as you want. But once the work is done, cut out all details that don't put some conflict in, drive the scene forward, or don't hint at the larger plot and/or theme of the story. Then you'll cut out all deadweight in the work.