Olivia has had a very very hard past. Her mother is awful, her father died, and she's also anorexic (although this is never said, just implied) and her mother forced her into shock therapy when she was younger for it. So although usually she keeps up a happy view on life, I want this to kind of bring her down....
Any tips on writing the death scene?
He stops at the sidewalk towards the main street. I slide off his back next to him and drop my gaze. Avert his eyes at all cost. They’ll just be disappointment or fear or judgement in them. And then there’d be pain in mine. “Are you stupid?” He slides his finger under my chin and brings my face up towards him. I cry more even though I know his intention is good. “The reason I didn’t want us to be together is because if I chose to be with you, I saw something bad.”
I moan and sob, but manage to choke, “What do you mean?”
“Psychic. Clairvoyant. Whatever you choose to call it, it’s something I have. Which I think is why you can’t read my thoughts. But early on, when we became friends, I saw that if I made the decision to love you and be loved by you, you’ll end up in pain.”
I sniffle. “Pain?”
It’s his turn to bite his lip. He drops his hand from my face and his own goes blank.
“Gabriel?”
Blank.
“Gabriel?!”
The wind blows my hair across my face. I close my eyes and put up my hands to shield myself.
“I love you Olivia.”
S l i c e
C r a c k
I open my eyes. A car speeds by, a man withdrawing into the passenger’s seat. Gabe’s gray eyes are wet and wide and staring into mine. The silver in them swirls and, for the first time since I’ve ever known him, stop any motion. His eyelids fall half-way. Then, it registers.
There is blood all over me.
“NO!”
There are not words to describe how I feel. His face, his beautiful tan face, pales slightly. He collapses. I reach forward and catch him, staggering at our height difference. My heart rate quickens to the likeness of a rabbit. It beats in my ears like the bass at a concert.
I sob.
I cry.
I moan.
I fall to my knees with his body in my arms. I won’t let go for the world.
This isn’t real.
It’s just a dream.
I cradle him. My heart constricts in agony.
People don’t just die.
(there is an indent here to show thought process)The car.
No. Tears stream down my face.
(there is an indent here to show thought process)The car. The man. The passenger’s seat.
No. Gabriel is mine; they can’t take him away from me now.
(there is an indent here to show thought process)What do you think was in the guy’s hand? Wasn’t candy.
The wound is right through the center of his chest. It bleeds onto me. I press him harder against my body. His head hangs limp off of my arms. How could this happen, why? The rivers of red wash over me, mixing with my own tears.
“What did I do, God,” I mumble through screams of anguish, “what did I do that was so bad? Did I wish something bad upon someone? Did I hurt someone I barely knew?! Huh?! God dammit, tell me!”
Now that he’s gone, they come back. I hear them creeping back into my mind.
(there is an indent here to show others thought process)Where are those screams coming from?
(there is an indent here to show others thought process)Is someone hurt?
(there is an indent here to show others thought process)Oh god, call the police!
“Born with this thing,” I howl, “born to a whore of a mother, lost daddy, and now, now, f*cking th*s?! F*cking- f*cking-“I sob uncontrollably-“this?”
I can’t open my eyes. I can’t stop this pain. I pull Gabe closer and closer to me in hopes of stopping my heart from exploding. On second thought, let it. It’ll be better that way. It’ll be better.
The seagulls around us call out. They are the only living things in the vicinity, for now Gabe is gone. And so am I.
Well, he’s definitely not telling my secret anytime soon.
Eep .
I know I'm awful .
Help !
xoxo
Gender:
Points: 1121
Reviews: 28